How have I fared with all of this stress? How have I been dealing with some of the biggest stress that I’ve had to deal with in my adult life (and I’ve been through some shit!)? Quite honestly, it’s been very tough. But, unlike when I was young and had no healthy coping skills (denial, avoidance, and using food were how I survived quite often), I deal with stress differently now. Because I have had experiences of healing things in my life, and I have a very different understanding of how the world works having had a spiritual awakening five years ago, I’m making progress. But because I’m of a certain age and stage of life, I have new challenges when it comes to coping; I’m talking about hormonal and ensuing emotional challenges. I’m using lots of tools I’ve gathered over the past 5 years, and walking my talk as best as I can.
My lifelong coping friend, food, is someone I’ve been running to probably more than I’d like. But I know that crucifying myself for trying to eat away uncomfortable feelings is not helpful. That said, what I’ve been putting into my body lately has been healthier and more high vibe than in years past. And part of this is because of food allergies and sensitivities to certain foods, and part of it is because I truly want to take better care of my body. Instead of eating a pint of mint chip ice cream, I’m downing a small container of hummus with chopped green olives mixed in, using celery sticks and pretzels for dipping (and actually enjoying it).
A bit of background: I am the product of a mother who was bipolar. She was bipolar for her whole life (for those who aren’t familiar, it’s something you are born with), and along with swinging between highs and lows, she carried an energy signature that created a dynamic between she and I that resulted in her verbally assaulting me during her mania. When she would ramp up into mania, her perception of the world became skewed. She would feel attacked by me and would react by attacking back verbally. She verbally assaulted me beginning when I was a toddler. It ended when I was able to clairvoyantly see the energetic dynamics of what was going on, and heal it just eight months before her death in late 2012.
Even though I am not bipolar, over the past decade plus, since perimenopause hit, controlling my moods has been a little bit of a challenge. I tend to slide into depression. But, because my mother never talked about her mental illness much, I didn’t know what depression could look like. It took several years to figure it out, but my depression looks like it did for my mom, just not as deep: being exhausted, becoming easily overwhelmed by life, feeling hopeless, having less than no motivation to do anything, and struggling just to be here in a physical body.
So, to cope with the stress of my son’s current crisis, I am taking care of myself by getting sleep and napping when I need it. I’m using meds and supplements to support my endocrine system (thyroid, hormones, and adrenals), I’m writing out my feelings in a journal and talking with close friends, and doing energy healing work for myself. I use a few very talented clairvoyants to help give me a higher perspective of what’s going on: to glean the bigger picture of things. And as I’ve noticed certain reactions and feelings coming up in me that I don’t want, I’ve used hypnotherapy sessions to dig deep and figure out what’s really going on; and to heal things.
You can use hypnotherapy for different things and in different ways. There are people who use it for stage shows, for entertainment purposes. And then there are people who use it for healing purposes. Within hypnotherapists who use it for healing, even they work in different ways. Over the course of 16 years, I’ve worked with 6 different hypnotherapists, 2 of which were one-time sessions (doing past life regression). With three of them I had a handful of sessions (4 or 5), and I currently work with one who I’ve been seeing for the past 3 years. When I work with her, I’ll usually have a series of 4 sessions spaced out a few weeks apart.
Unlike seeing a traditional therapist, using hypnotherapy isn’t something you do weekly for months on end. The progress that is made in just one session has the potential to create truly miraculous healing that can’t compare with using talk therapy alone. It can be very intense. I think of it as getting out the bulldozer and digging up things in a very big way. It can create a lot of healing and change in relatively little time.
The woman I currently have hypnotherapy sessions with combines her experience as a therapist, with her hypnosis training and spiritual background to create a synthesis that works beautifully for me. Just the right balance of therapy, spirituality, and metaphysical healing that creates real and lasting change in my life.
Three weeks ago, I had a hypnotherapy session because I noticed that when my son had bad days and really struggled (as most are right now), I would react by becoming very depressed and having trouble functioning. Getting through the day was like slogging through mud up to my hips. I wanted to know the underlying reasons why I would tailspin when for all intents and purposes, I was just fine.
One thing I’ve learned over the past few years about how things work is, we have lots of beliefs that control how we feel about everything in our lives. If older, subconscious beliefs no longer resonate with us (they are no longer true for us), they can cause upheaval and discomfort in our life. Hypnosis lets me figure out what belief has been activated and lets me change or heal it, often in one session.
Going into this session, my goal was to find out why I would tailspin in reaction to my son’s difficulties.
My hypnotherapist takes me through the initial induction phase where she has me relaxed and as centered and grounded as possible. She brings in light that has qualities of intelligence and healing energy (as I see God), and I bathe my body in it. At some point, she’ll ask for a guide to come forth to assist with my session (feels like a journey), and off we’ll go.
During this session, I was able to finally tune into a very old belief that was created when I was barely 15, had given birth to my daughter, and had given her up for adoption. The belief was that I was not a good mother. My young self created a belief that because she gave away her baby, she wasn’t being a good mother. In order to heal this belief, I had to bring my adult and current wisdom to my younger self and explain to her that she did what she had to do at the time. And that giving up her baby was actually being a very good mother. Bringing that baby into a home that was very dysfunctional would not have been the best for this baby. Giving her to a couple who were ready to have a child, and who desperately wanted to be parents, was much better for my daughter.
As I explained this (in my mind) to my younger self, she was a little bit comforted, but not completely. Then my hypnotherapist asked for my guide (Mother God on this occasion) to step forward and share her wisdom. She comforted my younger self by reassuring her that the baby would always be looked after and protected by herself: Mother God. Mother God would always be with her. That did the trick. With that knowledge, my younger self was able to let go of her belief of not being a good mother, and know that she actually did the right thing for her daughter. She instantly became happy and at that point, the belief was healed.
Near the end of the session, my hypnotherapist asked if Mother God had anything else she wanted to share. As she was telling me that I’m a good mother, I asked why do I get depressed from time to time? A big wisdom download landed in my head, and it had to do with the word “perfect.” I heard Mother God say, “The only thing perfect is Creation. And look around; everything you see has been created. As such, every thing and every one in any given moment in time is already perfect.”
Bam! My heart opened.
When we see something as less than perfect, it’s because we are putting our human judgment on it. We learn judgment and absorb judgment from our families, our friends, and society. It starts so early in our lives that we don’t even know it. And because so much of it has become subconscious beliefs, we don’t even know that we often act out, react because of these subconscious beliefs. Lots of our beliefs are around categorizing things into “good and bad,” “right and wrong.”
The truth is, everything is perfect now. Can we have preferences about things and make changes? Sure! But preferring something is different from holding judgment about it. Holding a judgment is a form of resistance; and what you resist, persists. Preferring something different allows a different possibility to exist. No resistance, just potential. When I feel resistance, my heart closes. When I feel the potential, my heart opens or expands. For me, life is about finding the perspective that brings me expansion.
Since that healing session, I feel better more often. I’m still having ups and downs through this period, but I keep trying, keep looking for things to help myself and my son feel better, believing that things will get better.