After the painful storm of emotions that was yesterday, today a rainbow came out.
Trying to figure out the puzzle that is my son has been an ongoing job since day one. He was first diagnosed with developmental delays when he was two, and was given labels by the medical establishment, one by one until they had given him titles of disorder, deficit, and dysfunction. By their book, he is defective and is thus disabled. I think yes, he’s wired differently than most, and because of it can struggle to walk in this world. But he is far from disabled, and in some areas is in fact, a master.
Yesterday was one of the bad days. And because of pressure I put on myself because I’m going away for a few days, I became very defeated in general. My husband’s work takes him away from home 7 days out of 14; therefore, the burden of taking care of our son falls on my shoulders. I’m the one who researches things to help figure our son out and things to try to help him. I’m the one who takes him to therapists, tutors, healers, and doctors. I’m the food and sleep regulator when my son is having difficulty. I’m the one with my finger on the pulse of the kiddo. And I can be a bit controlling because of all of this. So, when my son is going through a rough patch and I’m about to go away, I get a bit nervous about how things are going to go back at home.
After having a heart to heart with my son last night about his mental health and about my imminently being away for a few days, he stepped up and slept last night instead of being up all night. Doing my best to keep his blood sugar stable and getting his supplements in, he’s had a 180° turnaround from the past several days.
Sometimes it’s all you can do to make it a day at a time. Sometimes it’s an hour at a time. So thankful for the good times today.