Having recently returned from a few weeks away where I received several healing sessions, I had an interesting lesson in spirituality. What I experienced got me thinking about just what being spiritual is all about and what it looks like.
Some people think being spiritual is about meditating every day, wearing all natural fibers, draping your body and environment with crystals, and eating a vegan diet. For some people, this might be true.
What I experienced was having sessions from a healer who is amazingly gifted in his particular healing modality, but I couldn’t get a sense of him, the person. He hid behind excuses of picking up on personalities of people he was processing, and a variety of emotions he was processing. He would tout things like “don’t judge” only to turn around and judge himself harshly. He would tell me things that showed me that he didn’t know me at all. I only got a very few quick glimpses of him as an individual. And when I saw those glimpses, most of the time I saw an insecure boy in a man’s body. It’s like he never fully matured. I was shocked because I assumed that anyone with such talent with energy, must have worked on and be far along the path of healing their own personal issues. I was wrong.
I rarely felt this person coming from a place of his own personal authenticity. Frankly, it was weird to me because when you put him in front of an audience and let him explain the healing work he does, he’s in his element. And in truth, he has created some real healing miracles working with some people. His talent as a healer is undeniable. A friend explained some of it to me. What I witnessed was what those in the healing biz call a huge spiritual ego.
After thinking about what I’d been through with this person, my view of what being spiritual looks like, has been crystallizing in my mind. To me, the more a person casts off layers of beliefs and energies that are not their true self, the more they are able to authentically walk their talk. Returning to our core self is what being spiritual is all about.
For me, my life is a walk in a human body, remembering that my essence is my spirit. It’s about honoring, respecting, and loving this body through which my experiences are happening. It’s about the partnership between human animal and spirit being. It’s about understanding that the physical body holds onto painful emotions in an attempt to survive, but can be taught and assisted to be freed from them.
When we die and leave our bodies, the light energy that is our core self does not disappear. Our essential personality remains. As I heal that which is not me, it’s this essential personality that is allowed to shine through more and more brightly.
When we manifest physical bodies, we agree to take on energetic contracts that are passed down through our parents DNA. We agree to partake in the huge range of experiences of what it is to be human. Part of why we decide to experience a life in a physical body is to be given a chance to transcend and transmute these energetic contracts. How we do this is not specified, and the potential paths are unlimited. It’s the HOW of life that is grace in action. For a million people, they will find a million different paths to discover their own authenticity. And each path is equally valid.
To me, being spiritual is about being authentic. A large part of my personal journey is letting go of old fear and trauma, because they are no part of my authentic self. As I come to know myself more and more, it’s like coming home to me.
What prevented me from being myself? Beliefs I took on when I was young. Beliefs that I was defective, that I was not ok. Fear. Fear of being eaten alive, of causing my mother to go off on me. Judgment I picked up as I grew up. Judging myself as fat, and as such, unworthy. Believing that I had to take on everyone else’s pain and crap, and heal it for them.
For me, it’s been through working with psychics, healers, and hypnotherapists that I have discovered my path to authenticity. For someone else, it might be through communing with nature, seeing a therapist, working with animals, journaling or some other way. The way doesn’t really matter. What matters is remembering your divine sparkly self and letting go of everything else that is not that.