I learned an interesting lesson this past summer, and it almost cost me dearly. It had to do with being blinded and bamboozled by someone’s spiritual ego. Someone whose ego is so big that he convincingly let me see only a sliver of his entire self. The part that he allowed me to see is the only part he lets most people see: his healing talent. And he does have a very large talent.
There were some red flags along the way that I ignored (for a variety of reasons). One of the reasons was that I thought this man could create miracles for my son and I. You see, five years ago, I had one healing session from him that created a lot of healing for my back. In fact, so much healing happened that my back, which I’d injured, was very happy for a number of years, keeping me away from a surgeon’s knife.
As it turned out, this man who does have a tremendous healing talent, has managed to grow his talent over the past several years. But I really didn’t know him, and didn’t realize that he hasn’t grown in any other aspect of his life, preferring to blame the world for his problems instead of looking within and working on himself.
While spending some time with him and receiving a series of healing sessions, I had the opportunity to get to know him a bit as a person. While he is aware that he has a healing talent, he is blind to the immaturities in every other area of his life. Frankly, I’m astounded that he hasn’t taken a moment to take one iota of responsibility for what a clusterfuck his life is. Rule number one of energy work is: your life is your creation, based on your beliefs, and the frequencies and energies you send out. If there is something in your life that isn’t working, look within, change what isn’t working, and it will be reflected in your external world.
And I’m realizing that as much as I invited this man into my energy field, and he helped me to move a lot of energy, it was not done with regard to my physical safety or any boundaries. His goal is to move as much energy as possible in a person, because it feeds his huge ego. And I allowed it because I thought he was aware of and concerned with how much my body could deal with. I pushed myself, quite frankly because I was bullied into it. I was wrong to trust him as much as I did (I now know), and ended up with a physical crisis that thankfully, I’m handling. But it almost landed me in the hospital. Thanks to some big time grace (that steered me to a talented doctor), I stayed out of an operating room and am healing.
I know that when I work on myself, I can move mountains and create miracles. But I never do anything detrimental to myself.
Whenever I give a person Reiki, my intention is always for them to release whatever they are ready to let go of, and to receive as much of their own energy as they are ready for. There is always gentleness and ease. There is never force.
I am realizing that healers who I work with regularly, create safe and sacred spaces, and are respectful of what I’m ready to release and what I’m not yet ready to let go of. They are compassionate and are not judgmental. If you ever seek out an energy healer, it’s always helpful to have a recommendation from someone who has used them. And even with that, they must resonate with you. If there is anything at all about them that you’re not sure of, even just a weird feeling in your gut, they are not for you. Even if they have talent. If there is anything about them that you are uncomfortable with, you will not be as able to make progress with them, as you will make with someone who has your complete trust.
I’ve worked with healers who helped me to heal and shift things, but for a variety of reasons, weren’t a good match after a while. In a few cases, it was the person themselves, and in one case, it was the way the person worked. It’s ok to move on and find someone who is a better match for you.
When you work with a healer, you should feel that they have your best interests at heart, they are concerned about your physical and emotional comfort, and you feel like you are making progress when you work with them. The ultimate goal of healing is to get to a point where you are self-sufficient at finding your own answers; connecting to your own wisdom. And if you feel that a person you are working with is keeping you dependent on them, that’s a huge red flag that it’s time to move on.
You want to work with someone who is confident in their abilities. But if a person tells you they are intuitively seeing or feeling something about you that doesn’t feel right, or worse yet, you know is absolutely wrong, and if they insist that they are correct and you are wrong, run for the hills. What’s happening is they are reading themselves, and are not acknowledging it.
And finally, if a healer tells you that they can fix all your problems or solve all your issues, and it will only cost you a bundle, keep looking. There are many talented people out there, and you don’t have to break the bank. Many healing centers and Unity and Spiritual Living centers offer regular healing services, like 15 – 20 minute Reiki sessions, on a donation basis or for a nominal cost. There are also holistic healing and psychic fairs, which are great places to try out and interview several people in a short time, at low or no cost. Remember to go with your gut.
What I learned in particular with this lesson, is that I need to trust myself more. After several years of looking and trying out various healing modalities and people, I have gathered a great team of people that I now work with. People who I trust, people with whom I have created a ton of healing in my life, and who are helping me to move closer and closer to my goal of being able to connect to my own wisdom on my own, to handle whatever comes up. And they are the people who are helping me to weather this current storm.