I’ve been working on myself again. And for those who don’t know me yet, my modality of choice these days is hypnotherapy. It’s my bulldozer; it’s the tool of choice for excavating energies at my subconscious level and beyond. I’ve used it for the past 3 years from time to time, to heal a lot of misbeliefs I created during my childhood, which didn’t exactly resemble The Brady Bunch.
What I’m learning is that what I carry in my physical body is much more than just me. It’s way more than my I AM presence, my true divine nature, my core truth. What’s in this body of mine are energies that I (my soul) agreed to carry from my family lineage. I agreed to carry patterns of miscreations, patterns of wounding each other, that were generated generations ago; and they stop with me.
I carry thoughts and beliefs that I created as a very young child that are not my truth. Beliefs about being less than and about being defective were a child’s mind’s way of making sense of behaviors around me and those done to me that were not ok. And there was no one around to explain that they were not ok, and why they were not ok.
I carry energies from many other lifetimes, whether I was victor or victim, loving or disdainful, open-hearted or completely closed up. As my soul has chosen to have experiences, until goals are met, certain energies will carry on, being passed down through cell memory. I’ve worked on creating compassion out of hate, and love out of fear. I’ve healed familial patterns that were passed down, and transmuted a lifetime of shame.
I take in energies from our collective consciousness, part of which is at war right now. I pick up on this war of choice that my country (USA) will make next month during our presidential elections. The choice of what values we want in the person who represents our country, who represents me. The choice of falling victim to fear, or taking a stand for the “every man.” I receive these conflicting energies within me, often times thinking that they are me.
I carry energies that play out on a global level in wars, battles, and people deciding how to handle situations like refugees, oppression, and human rights.
And one of the most significant things I carry in my body is my divinity. My soul essence. My connection to the energy of the Universe (God, love). It is through my soul that my physical body is created. And from the vibrations that my body emanates, my life experience is created. Those vibrations include my divine true self, plus all of the energetic things I agreed to carry while being in a human body: beliefs, feelings, and emotions – mine, and others’.
Doing all of this digging has shown me the difference between who I really AM, and the stuff that hangs out with me.
We literally store thoughts and beliefs in our physical bodies. We carry energetic patterns in our bodies and as our bodies. I’ve uncovered beliefs that have shown up in my body creating dis-ease. I’ve revealed thoughts that were driving forces of emotional triggers. And to release some energetic patterns, my body has used injury, like when I broke my foot, hurt my tailbone, and smashed one of my toes.
When people talk about the veil between heaven and earth, physically, this is the corpus callosum part of the brain. It’s the part of the brain that separates our left and right hemispheres. It keeps the animal brain that controls so much of our survival behavior, from knowing our divine connection. From knowing that we are eternal, creative, amazing beings. You will hear messages from it that are intended to keep you disconnected from your own divinity. Messages designed to keep you in a very small box.
So what does this all have to do with evil?
I’ve come across this bugger a few times during my hypnosis sessions, when I’m diving in, looking for the root cause of something in my life that’s not working for me anymore. A few times, I’ve felt the presence and power of an energy that I could only describe as pure evil. It scared the hell out of me. It was huge and stopped me in my tracks. Momentarily.
I say momentarily, because I work with a wonderful hypnotherapist who understands how the brain works and who understands how we can trip ourselves up.
During those moments when I’m stopped in my tracks, I’m directed to observe it. Look at the evil. Look beyond it. One thing I’ve learned is that the moment I stop and pay attention to whatever has me stopped, the moment I look at it, it morphs into what’s really going on. Without exception, every single time I’ve felt the energy of evil, as soon as I turn my attention to it, evil morphs into fear. And without exception, every time I’ve felt the energy of fear and looked at it, what came up was a belief.
An energetic pattern that was created and shows up as a belief, gets shrouded by fear and cloaked by evil. This is how our bodies and brains work. We create masks and cloaks and shadows. The game is to see it all for what it is: patterns of energies that can be shifted and changed.
During my most recent session, I tapped into the feeling of evil. At the time, I was trying to connect with my higher self, who looked like a woman made entirely of gold. As I tried to seek her counsel, a black cloak of a cape with a hood, kept covering this golden woman, and I couldn’t hear her. It kept shifting, getting in my way. The cloak felt like a being of pure evil. When I told my hypnotherapist about the cloak and my difficulty connecting to my higher self, she had me look at the cloak. What was it there for? What did it represent? What was it trying to tell me?
As soon as I examined the cloak of evil, I immediately tapped into fear. Bucket loads of fear. It didn’t take long to see that beneath the fear was the thought: “I don’t have permission to exist.” I could see lifetimes of being an awakened person who was connected to their divinity and intuition, and who knew things they weren’t supposed to know. And I was killed for it. Again and again.
I knew that when a person is fully connected to their intuition, they are completely connected to God and their own divinity. They have access to any and all information that exists, and there is no fear of lack because they know how to create from thin air. They are in touch with their own truth, and aren’t bamboozled by charlatans. They can’t be held emotional prisoners by anyone or any thing. They have complete autonomy as sovereign beings, and are free. As an expression of their true divine nature, they are love and express this love outwardly.
When I walk and talk as a being who embodies my divinity, my language speaks about inclusion and cooperation, my heart is open, and I feel expansive. I feel contentment, peace, happiness and joy. I feel solid as a rock within my being, owning my sovereignty.
This freedom of being and freedom of self is threatening to many people. It’s threatening to people who have such deep fears about lack and are so disconnected from their own source of abundance that they amass vast amounts of wealth and power and hoard it, fighting tooth and nail to hang onto every last penny. They do despicable things to maintain and increase their wealth, including destroying others’ businesses, destroying other people, and inciting wars.
There are some who will go to any length to maintain their illusion of power and control. They are so deeply disconnected from their divinity and their own true divine nature that when someone comes along who threatens that disconnection, the lengths they will go to range from shaming and embarrassing a person, all the way up to attacking and killing them.
I saw during many lifetimes, that my being a walking, talking beacon of light, the embodiment of my divine essence of being, gave people permission to open up to their true divine selves. And for many people, over thousands of years, looking in the mirror and letting go of what was not their truth was too scary. Being given permission to become a sovereign, divine being, was so scary to some people that they snuffed out any light around them, including me. And it happened many times.
But this is one soul mission that I haven’t completed yet, so I’m here to give it another go. And so far, I’m kicking ass and taking names. Evil, masquerading as fear, won’t stop me this time. I’ve managed to remember who I am as a divine being, and have made a ton of progress in embodying qualities of strength, love, compassion, and sparkly, colorful, creative divinity. I’ve transmuted distorted patterns of energy passed down to me, and those I created in my young life. And I continue to transmute that around me which isn’t love just by being.
Being here on this planet in a human body means you are one amazing mo-fo! And if you are alive, you have made it. You have succeeded. You have survived. Do you know how many souls there are waiting for their turn? Souls who aren’t ready yet to take the big leap into physical life? Souls who aren’t bold enough or mature enough to create a physical body? Do you realize that to even get here into a human body you needed skills? Energetic skills. Bodies just don’t happen on their own. They are created. And you, my dear, are in the driver’s seat. Grab that wheel and take it for a spin. You create your life, so make it one to remember!