I was inspired to write after reading a blog post by a woman who is on her own healing path. A path younger than mine, and completely her own.
That’s the beauty of life, our paths that we walk are completely our own: from the moment we shoot out our mother’s crotch, until we take our last breath. No one can walk it for us, although at times, some may try. When we are little, we, for obvious reasons, need a lot of help getting going on our path.
But even needing help to survive, it’s ultimately up to a little one to decide to eat. And when we get old enough to toddle around, it’s up to us whether we decide to do as we are asked, or not. (Fear is usually introduced to coerce our compliance). Along life’s path, we have a bazillion decisions that we make and movements that we choose.
One thing I didn’t learn until I was in my mid forties, is that as much as we might feel that we are alone in life, we in fact, are never alone. That was one of my lessons*. We always have beings in spirit with us all the time. Walking down life’s path when things seem dark and difficult, is made a lot easier knowing I’m never alone. I was shown this even before I had my spiritual awakening. I think it was one of those events that primed me to waking up.
Actually, let me back up. Before I learned that we are never alone on our life’s path, I saw that we each have to walk our path ourselves. I saw that I have to do the walking, the moving forward. And there have been and will be times when life gets difficult, and I might have to stop and just breathe for a while. And I might even have to get down on all fours and crawl or just lie in the muck for a while. Even then, all I have to do is reach out a hand, and there will be someone to help me back up. As much as it’s a solo journey, it’s not done alone.
Ah, there’s another concept that has been in my grill recently: paradox. When you see the world through two lenses at the same time, you get comfortable with paradox. There is a lot about the physical world that seems at odds with the world in spirit. And the two worlds that exist at the same time are often paradoxical.
The one constant is LOVE.
Once you learn that the physical world only exists through the non-physical, and you learn the ways of creation and manifesting, it becomes easier to think in new terms.
But I digress. Back to life’s journey.
Now as an adult, I have the insight and freedom to work on healing or letting go of things I created in my younger years that no longer work for me. I’m talking about beliefs I created and feelings that my body decided to hold onto. Actually, a lot of the crud that I’m clearing out these days was not only created in my youth, but during other lifetimes.
Yes. We can carry with us themes to work on through several lifetimes. Look at it like taking a class in school on a certain subject that’s really hard for you: science. You take physics, but it’s too hard and you flunk. So, the next lifetime you might give chemistry a try, but once again, it’s too hard and you flunk. Although you do get something out of it. So, the next lifetime you take cellular biology, and because you finally figured out that it was the mathematics part of science that kept holding you back, you master math and sail through with flying colors. From then on, when you take any science class, because you’ve now mastered math, you go through them with ease.
Since I’ve been so many shifts in my life because of all of this letting go, or healing, life is changing. There were some parts of my life that were painful and I responded to the pain by avoiding and ignoring it as much as possible. But there comes a time when you can no longer avoid certain things. Usually, in this culture and society, what comes up is physical disease. When your health is threatened, that’s the last straw in being able to avoid dealing with “stuff”.
Because I’ve discovered that I can actually heal the painful things in my life, both emotional and physical, I’m going after it with gusto. I’ve discovered a process (hypnosis) that works for me: it’s fast, effective, and within my budget. (And I’ve learned that I really like fast and effective). Just finding the process has been an adventure in and of itself.
After healing something as significant as a very painful relationship, (and that was done in layers over time), I’ve noticed my feelings change each time I’m around the other person. Life gives us opportunities to re-experience things, like a situation or a person, so we can notice how our reactions toward them change over time, as we change.
As I found ways to let go of old pain and hurt, instead of holding onto anger when the thought of a certain person even entered my mind, there came a day when I was no longer totally pissed off. I no longer wished them ill. When I had to deal with them, I no longer completely dreaded having to interact with them. And there even came a time when my thoughts toward this person evolved into ones of compassion. Yes, a person who once hurt me very deeply. A person who I hated for decades.
As issues bubble up to the surface, grabbing my attention, I know that this is what wants to be dealt with next. It might be my physical body having trouble. Or it might be challenges with my emotions. Whatever discomfort is in my grill is what’s wanting to go. There seems to be a never-ending well of things I’ve created and carried into this lifetime that are showing up for me to heal. Am I just manifesting all of this to give me something to do in this life? To show me the powerful being that I really am? Maybe.
Because I can’t see into the future, and can only deduce the “why” of my life when looking backwards, I see that this entire healing path has been leading me to knowing myself as a spirit. To really get to know who I AM. Not the cloak I wear that we know as a physical body, but the life source that animates it. I have seen and know in every cell of my body that I am divine. I am love, compassion, strength, and every other feeling that hits me when I connect with Divine Source Energy: God. I am part of God, appearing as separate by virtue of my left brain. Another paradox: I feel separate from God, and yet my spirit knows I am not. (The idea of paradox is so big that I created a second post on this topic that you can now read here. It ran a bit longer than my usual posts.)
Life spirals around and around, revisiting old pains and discomforts, giving us a myriad of opportunities to heal them. Life never gives up on us. If we don’t get it in this lifetime, we can always try again. Yup. I’ve been there and done that. During one recent lifetime, things go so difficult for me that I took my own life, seeing no other way out of the suffering. Setting up the parameters for this lifetime, the same lesson was wanted, setting up a very painful experience and painful relationships, but this time, some of the dynamics are different, giving me a better shot at gleaning gold. And I’m getting it – big time.
*My major life lessons and epiphanies have come to me in an altered state of mind, using either hypnosis or meditation.