When I was first introduced to energy healing back in the spring of 2010, I had no idea what energy therapy or energy healing was. The first practitioner I worked with, who called herself and Energy Therapist, taught me about energy as she worked on me. With her work, I had experiences of things like reduced back pain and cravings for dairy foods that went away. This weird mystical thing actually did something and produced results.
She taught me that as well as having a physical body, we human beings also carrying an energy field that goes through our body and extends beyond it. She also taught me that we can hold onto emotions in our energy field, and these stuck emotions can block up our energy.
This first woman, who is extremely intuitively gifted, was able to “read” my energy field. She could intuitively see things about my energy, and help me to let go of stuck emotions that were causing pain or discomfort. It seemed like I just sat there as she did all the work.
A year later, in the spring of 2011, I became Reiki attuned and soon thereafter had a spiritual awakening. With that, my interest in energy healing and all things spiritual took off like a rocket. I obsessively read and watched videos online, learning and soaking up information like a sponge in the desert that just came across a five gallon bucket of water. I couldn’t absorb it all fast enough.
Since then, I’ve been to several different classes and workshops to learn about healing and about connecting to spirit and Source (God). Through these classes, I had experiences that would help me learn to trust my intuition, and would introduce me to the world of spirit.
Energy healing works at the level of our energy field, which I see as being intimately interwoven with our physical tissues. Our energy field also exists beyond our physical body, making up our aura. Because this energy is our spirit, it’s also called spiritual healing. This energy field is the template from which our physical body is created, and it’s where emotions can become “stuck”.
You can hold old emotions in the energy of places in your body, like your stomach, liver, joints, neck, or a toe. I’ve released energy in healing sessions from my heart, stomach, liver, gallbladder, left shoulder, my neck, and more. And I’ve released energies from a toe and a foot when I broke them (a talented intuitive friend saw this and told me).
Change the template, or blueprint, and the physical body responds in kind. But because energy can shift in a moment and physical cells take time to divide, replicate, die, and be disposed of, it takes time for the energetic shift to show up in the body. Changes show up with our emotions much quicker.
As much as I learned from having a few healers work on me, and from reading and watching interviews and lectures, it’s been mostly through my adventures in hypnotherapy that I’ve learned just what healing is. What it means, and what it looks and feels like.
Today, in the simplest terms, I’d call healing a letting go of something that no longer resonates with your true authentic self. And healing happens through experience. You can’t think a healing. It happens at an energetic level. It’s going back to the root of an issue and finding the perspective that allows you to instantly let go whatever is keeping the issue in place (most often an old, subconscious belief, that can be under layers of anger or fear).
One of my favorite sessions showed me that the world around me is a mirror to my own beliefs and thoughts about myself. When I see something in another person, it’s because I hold that same belief about myself.
A while back, I began to notice a pattern in my life. When I would sit down to help my son with his homework and he became blocked and unable to work, I’d become more and more frustrated until I’d blow. After more than a few years of dealing with this, I recognized the signs of immanent eruption, and would disengage from the struggle before my top would blow. That’s called learning coping skills. It’s a form of managing your feelings, and comes in very handy in life. But coping and managing is not healing.
Then came sixth grade, the year from hell. There weren’t enough coping skills in the world for that year. About that time, I’d also had enough experiences with hypnotherapy that I realized this was an issue I could look into and possibly heal. It was time to look into why I kept reacting so badly to this recurring situation.
During the hypnosis session, I was directed to picture the scene of my son and I sitting down to do his homework, and allow my feelings of frustration to rise back up. I saw us sitting at our dining room table, him unable to do his work, and me becoming more and more frustrated and pissed off. In hypnosis, my true feelings were easily able to come up. I felt the words, “what’s the matter with you? Why can’t you do this? What’s wrong? Are you defective or something?” (I noticed that I was so adept at stuffing my true feelings down, that these thoughts never even got as far as my conscious mind when I was with my son).
A moment later, my son’s head turned into a mirror and I was suddenly looking at myself. I instantly knew that all the feelings that I’d directed towards my son were actually thoughts I held about myself. Whoa!
(Any time someone gets my hackles up, I now know that it’s actually something inside of me that is crying out to be let go. It’s not really about them. They are merely the activator for my “stuff”. The same goes for someone who becomes activated by me. I’m not making them mad, sad, irritated. There is something living in them that needs to be healed).
When my hypnotherapist asked me where these thoughts came from, in an instant I was looking at a scene of my mother yelling at a very young me. When I was very little, I saw that she directed those thoughts toward me, if not directly with her words, with her energy.
And in a flash of knowledge downloaded into my head, I knew that the truth was that these were thoughts that my mother held about herself! I ended up taking them on as my own.
When I was a little girl, there was nothing inherently wrong with me. I was a beautiful, sparkly, child of the divine. But I took on the belief that I was defective; that there was something wrong with me. Looking at the creation of the belief through my current adult eyes, I instantly saw that the belief that “I am defective” is not true. That little girl who lives inside of me had been holding onto the belief (essentially stuck in time). And every time something came up that stimulated it, I would become reactive.
In the instant of knowing my truth about the old situation, the old belief dissolved. I let it go. It’s permanently gone. It was healed.
No more trigger. It’s gone, gone, gone. Forever.
The next time the same situation came up, instead of becoming frustrated, I felt an eerie emptiness instead. Like a black hole. It was so weird that I busted out laughing, and so did my son.
When I talk about letting go of things that are not the real me, this is what I’m talking about. Over the past few years, during sessions, I’ve uncovered many beliefs that I created when I was a child, and they were all created so I could survive. Without exception, when an old belief clashes with current beliefs, it creates a dissonance that you can feel.
It becomes triggered in situations, causing reactions, some very extreme, as in the case of PTSD. When a child experiences trauma, they create beliefs in order to survive. And these beliefs are so tremendously incongruous with their true authentic selves, that when they grow up and their survival isn’t in danger anymore, the dissonance becomes intolerable and very painful. The trigger experiences can become severe.
One of the most triggering relationships that a person can have is the parent/child relationship. As the parent of a child with “issues” I have been triggered and triggered, repeatedly by my son. Now that I know what I know, every trigger is actually something within me that needs to be healed. And I’m doing the work, healing all of the old wounds and crappy beliefs I created (in order to survive), so I’m not triggered any more. (At least, not nearly as much – it’s a process). It’s making me a much better parent, and a happier person in general. (Thank you son for not being an easy, compliant kid).
As I’ve healed these old beliefs, I’m resonating more and more with my true authentic self, which I now know is non-judgmental, completely accepting, unconditionally loving and very powerful. I’m feeling more and more like me, without all of the crap on top. I have much fewer painful reactions in life, and there is so much more peace in my heart. It’s been and is being an amazing process.