What’s Fascinating Me Now

The larger part of my Kundalini awakening has had me addressing inner disconnection. Soul separation. There are many names for essentially the same thing. And seeing how my consciousness separated during the younger years of my life, I realize that each and every moment felt traumatic to my younger self. Every moment was an instance of the straw that broke the camel’s back. Instances when the part of myself who knew herself as perfect, divine, and eternal could no longer take the pain of physical incarnated life and the brain took over creating reasons (beliefs) explaining away why things felt so painful and intolerable.

Diving into my inner world I’ve seen time and time again my consciousness splitting during these traumatic moments, and the parts of myself who knew I was perfect, eternal, and divine going underground. They tucked themselves here and there in my body for safe keeping and I became completely unaware of them. I forgot what happened and forgot what they knew.

Healing has been an ongoing process of reconnecting with these parts of myself, these lost or disconnected parts of my inner child, and helping them shift their beliefs. Helping them shift their stuck perceptions. And as they change, so do I. Fear leaves. Anger leaves. Mistrust leaves. Grief leaves. Remorse leaves. Judgment leaves. And so much more. And when I say these things leave I don’t mean like having a drink to feel mellow for a while. I’m talking about a permanent change to my consciousness. To how I experience myself and the world.

What’s left behind after healing is often memories or part of my life’s story but without negative emotions that used to accompany it. I can remember things I experienced without becoming emotionally tanked by them anymore. And I can write and speak about them with compassion and empathy for the little girl who lived through them. Because that little girl is in such a good place after she’s been involved in a healing, there’s no pity for her either. She’s all good.

One of the beautiful things about working with trained and talented healers is the safety they provide. My healing sessions never address anything I’m not ready to face because if I’m not ready to face something it won’t become available. I won’t be able to access it until I’m able to process it. And if I’m working with someone intuitive, they won’t be given access to see anything I’m not able to process. My team in spirit always has my back.

In the past I’ve worked with a few people whose process became a bit uncomfortable after a while, and I should have let them know so they could have shifted the way they worked. But it didn’t occur to me until I worked with someone else who let me know right up front that my comfort and feeling safe was her number one priority.

Through all the lessons I’ve learned about myself and lessons I’ve learned working with several different types of healers and therapists, and working with different individuals within one genre of healing, I’ve learned a lot about trauma and about healing it. These days I’ve been fascinated to watch people talk about the subject of trauma, what it looks like, and how to heal from it.

There are so many misconceptions about what’s traumatic, what it does to a person, and if it can even be healed, that at some point, when I’m further along in my own process, I’d like to get some sort of formal training to help people heal from trauma and anything else in their life that’s not going well. I’d like to help people reconnect with their wounded inner child and bring them back home by guiding them safely within.

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