My Kundalini awakening is very different from most that I’m aware of. Although yes, the energy is pushing up things in me that don’t resonate with oneness so I can heal them, most people take action to match their changing consciousness.
What I mean by that is when their job no longer resonates with their new consciousness they leave their job and get a different one. Or when relationships no longer resonate with their new consciousness they end. And sometimes people move. Many people who go through kundalini awakening experience changes to their consciousness which then spur changes in their outer lives.
In my case, a dysfunctional (sibling) relationship has effectively ended. But I haven’t gotten divorced, haven’t moved, and haven’t quit my job because I can’t quit being a mother (despite how challenging raising my son can be). My exterior life looks much the same, despite my consciousness having shifted quite a bit.
And part of it is because I haven’t had the physical energy to do much more than the absolute bare necessities, and part is because of how deeply my emotional wounds and triggers are being healed.
That said, my energetic boundaries were blown apart when Kundalini energy opened and I’ve been working constantly ever since to create new energetic boundaries through healing my inner world. And quite frankly, my awakening experience has been one of incredible amounts of experiencing both pain and having compassion. Embodying others’ inner disconnection and healing what’s within me that’s resonating with their shit.
It’s miserable to embody things I’ve already healed, only to have to heal them more deeply and broadly. Things I’m not even conscious of until they’re healed and awareness finally hits my consciousness. Sometimes this awakening process has me feeling out of sorts and foggy, and sometimes my body manifests pain and discomfort or exhaustion that is not indicative of an illness process. It’s just resonating with someone else’s unhealed wounds until I’m able to heal things. Until whatever’s still in me finally comes up, shifts, and releases. I barely even have to try when it comes to the energetic shift; they happen so easily in the right conditions.
Although I’ve experienced temporary body aches and itchiness that comes and goes, a new physical “symptom” that yes, I’ve seen two doctors about, and is not illness, bothered me for several days a month ago, and came back. And it was fucking miserable. Itching and big discomfort in an area of the body known for having delicate tissues. And both times it showed up, it corresponded with having a house guest I’d rather not have while I’m so not myself and while my energetic boundaries are still Swiss cheese.
I didn’t know how much of the miserable discomfort was physically based, and how much had to do with unconscious resonance with either my family or our guest or even something else going on in the collective, but the apex of discomfort came the day our guest went home, which was the day before a healing session I’d already had on the books. And thankfully, the morning of the session I woke up a bit more comfortable that the excruciating day before.
Healing my way through this awakening is creating very deep, generational healing, is changing my consciousness, and is broadening my awareness of not only my life, but of the human condition in general and issues that affect the collective. And with each healing I’m remembering more of who I am at my core, becoming more centered and grounded, am releasing more of my human-created beliefs, and am shoring up my energetic boundaries.
Stay tuned to see what came up as it was healed.