This morning I’ve been pondering, musing, contemplating. Integrating a recent healing session, I can feel things settling a bit. Integration doesn’t feel quite as tumultuous as it has, but then again I’ve been able to give myself as much TLC as possible with a very quiet house for the past four days. Long afternoon naps help.
The longer I’ve been going through this journey, the more I understand how distinctly different the process is for everyone. For quite a while I thought there was something wrong with how things were going down for me simply because the few people I know locally who’ve had their Kundalini energy wake up haven’t had such an intense physical and mental process.
Before my Kundalini energy cranked open I’d not only had a spiritual awakening six years prior but had done a lot of healing. Effective and significant healing to my life. I’d dissolved all sorts of unconscious beliefs, healed several emotional triggers and some ancestral karma. I’d become to know myself as divine (hence the blog title) and walked the world with more peace in my heart than I’d ever known. Life was beginning to flow. The victim consciousness that is such an integral part of the human condition was pretty much gone, and worry that had been a lifelong companion was becoming a thing of the past. It was truly magical.
Working with a handful of hypnotherapists I’d not only healed bits and pieces of my inner world but had had metaphysical experiences that blew my mind. Besides all the healing, I took note of my sessions and began to learn.
Ever the student, as I learned about energy healing and took notes after my healing sessions, I began to put pieces together. Sessions not only helped me heal and teach me but connected me with higher wisdom. And the more I’ve healed the clearer the connection to my higher self has become.
By the time Kundalini energy opened, life was all about healing duality within me. That’s been my overarching focus for the past almost five years. Looking back, I don’t think this focus was entirely conscious, but rather my higher self taking the reigns and guiding me.
Comparing my awakening process to others’ it’s been similar in that the first few months of Kundalini opening, my overall energy was vibrating so high it took nothing to heal anything I was in resistance to. Merely taking a quiet moment to focus within brought forth an easy inner healing shift. And within a few days the way I experienced the world changed. I had a greater understanding and more compassion.
The thing is, here in the very human, physical world, most people (at least the Westerners I know who can’t just drop out of life and go live in a spiritual center or a cave) can’t maintain such a high vibrational level indefinitely and eventually the process changes. This is where the work begins.
And this is where so many people’s process gets hard. Sometimes overwhelmingly hard. It can be referred to as a dark night of the soul. Because the psyche changes, life does too. Relationships either change or go away. Jobs and living conditions often change too. And eventually, a new normal evolves. The timeframe may be a year or two, or four or five. This is highly individual.
As I mentioned before, my entire process has been one of healing inner duality. And when I could no longer facilitate healing by myself, I turned to what works for me really, really well: hypnosis. These days I see it as guided meditation that helps me find and heal all sorts of inner resistance.
Because what I’ve been healing has affected not only lifetimes but vibrational patterns that resonate with mass consciousness, the energetic changes I’ve been experiencing have been quite significant. And corresponding integration has been trying to say the least.
Eventually, the dark night of the soul phase of the process passes and the changed person embarks on life anew. At least that’s what I’ve heard, not quite being there yet.
I recently watched a video talking about steps in a spiritual awakening, updated because the energy on our planet has changed greatly in the past few years. When energy upgrades, things shift and change. When the planet’s energy upgrades everything and everyone on it is affected. Yup, even our planet has a consciousness that’s upgrading.
My awakening has been happening during a time of massive upset and tumult. It’s not the same as when other people I know went through their own awakening years ago. My Kundalini awakening directly correlated with our former president’s taking office in early 2017 and the beginning of what was four years of all sorts of collective darkness given permission to come out of the shadows.
And before the end of his term, a pandemic came along to shake things up even more.
My Kundalini awakening has been riding right alongside some of the biggest energetic shifts since I was born in the mid-sixties. But these days change is happening even faster with tech exploding and the internet connecting us across the globe instantaneously.
Not only has my awakening been paralleling some massive planetary energetic shifts, but going through it as my body has been going through a natural phase of its own change – menopause – is not lost on me.
So sure, it’s been really intense. Beyond intense now and then. And the more I get to know my higher self, the more I’m getting a clue. I’m built for it.
For the past year and a half, I’ve been working with a handful of local healers, figuring out pretty quickly who’s a good fit and who’s not. While I’ve met several talented healers, I’ve found a few who’ve been a great fit. And at my most recent healing session, I was reminded that what makes for a great healer is someone who holds space. These days I don’t need someone to “work on me”. I need someone who creates a sacred space and helps me allow the process to unfold.
The woman I was doing hypnotherapy with back in 2019 and over half of 2020 had to stop giving hypnotherapy sessions to tend to her family. And I recently got the nudge to see if she’d returned to her spiritual side gig. Sure enough, she’s just getting her feet wet again and I’m beyond excited to not only reconnect with her but to help bring light to more of my inner shadow in just a few days.
Today I’m reminded that how my awakening process has been and is unfolding is just perfect.