To Witness

I’m finally wrapping my brain around an amazing concept called “to witness”. It’s a verb that unlike many verbs, is an action word and is a word of no physical action at the same time. And yet it holds the most powerful action that exists. The ultimate act of witnessing a person involves completely and wholly accepting them, unconditionally. No judgment. No strings attached. And the person who is witnessed feels completely seen and known, completely understood and recognized. They feel they are known at the very deepest level of their core being, and completely accepted for who they are, exactly as they are.

In the moment of being witnessed, a person only knows themselves as perfect. Anything and everything that is not perfect, has instant permission to leave. And the one doing the witnessing only feels, knows, and projects complete love. Love as absolute acceptance.

In our very human world, it can be a challenge to witness another person, simply because we are, by default, filled with judgment. Those of us who are aware of how and when we judge ourselves and others, find it easier to reign in judgment and see another through clear eyes. People who are attuned to give Reiki reign in any and all personal judgment and act as conduits for pure love.

Six years ago, I was filled with a lifetime of pain. I was filled with anger and sorrow, shame, fear and self-judgment. I was on a path, looking for pain relief. But not the kind of pain relief you get from an aspirin or from anything that is temporary. I had already realized at that point that my drug of choice, food, wasn’t working very well for me anymore, and I needed to find a better way. A more permanent way.

One day nearer the beginning of this journey, I followed an intuitive path, and it led me to an angel. This angel came to me in the form of a human woman who was physically petite, beautiful, and as powerful as anyone I have ever known. I had arranged to have a psychic reading with her that day, and it was only the second psychic reading I had ever had in my life. Little did I know what was in store for me. I had only cast my eyes on this woman one time before, about a week or two prior, and there was something about her that captured my attention.

As we sat together, I didn’t quite know what to expect from a reading, and I honestly don’t remember if I had any questions prepared to ask her. What I do remember was the moment that I realized she could clairvoyantly see my entire life. She saw straight into my soul and knew my story. Even though she didn’t know me because we had never sat and talked before, she could see every bit of my pain.

She knew without my saying a word that I had been abused by a mentally ill mother, and had been molested by a very hurt, confused, and disconnected brother. She also knew that I still carried pain from having become pregnant, giving up my daughter for adoption, and was forced to keep  the molestation and my daughter a secret. She saw and knew all of my damage and pain, and I sat there, feeling completely accepted just as I was.

Having recently been attuned to give Reiki, the grip of self-judgment in me had already been somewhat loosed. When this amazing woman looked straight into my soul, I felt completely known and accepted in that moment. She witnessed my pain, my life, and my beauty all at once. I knew that even though I felt like I was damaged goods, and “less-than” a thousand ways to Sunday, in that moment, I was accepted just the way I was. And in response, my soul cracked me open. A part of me finally felt safe enough and was recognized in such a way that it screamed to be let out of the cage it had been kept in for my entire life.

My spirit demanded to become known to me on a conscious level. This is what we call having a spiritual awakening. An impulse within you wakes up and demands to be known. It is not something that can be controlled or contained, but rather, it’s to be celebrated and embraced. When I woke up to the knowledge that I am more than just a person in a physical body, but that I’m an eternal spirit who lives life through and with a physical body, my perspective of life shifted quite a bit.

People have a few different types of experiences that wake themselves up to knowing that they’re more than just their bodies. And one of the most intense experiences a person can have to wake themselves up, is a near-death experience. I was cracked open by being witnessed by another person. When someone goes through a near-death experience, they are broken open by being witnessed directly by God.

When a person has a near-death experience, as much as each experience is very personal and unique, there is a common thread of people coming back very changed. They have been witnessed, knowingly held in the palm of the hand of God. They have experienced being completely and utterly known and accepted. Being completely submerged and filled with the love of God allows much of their pain to leave.

When a person feels so completely accepted exactly as they are, and experiences the highest form of energy that creates us, felt as unconditional love, at the same time, it acts as the ultimate permission slip to let go of all sorts of pain, judgment, anger, and sadness that we have created during our lifetime and carry with us. It is the energy healing session of all energy healing sessions.

Even if we never have a near-death experience, and never have a spiritual awakening, anyone can act as a witness for another person. Throughout a child’s life, parents act as a witness, continually loving and accepting a child over and over again as they go through all the ages and stages of growing up. Holding love for a child, not predicated on their behavior, but simply because the child is held in your heart, is a parent’s form of being a witness. And when a child knows without doubt that they are seen, known, valued and loved, simply because they exist – especially when they are struggling – it’s the most powerful thing a parent can instill in their child.

If you know someone who is struggling mightily, one of the most powerful things you can do for them is stand solidly in the place of complete acceptance and love for them exactly as they are in a single moment. If you have trouble putting aside judgment, consider that in a single moment, everything is already perfect. It might not feel perfect or look perfect if you look into the future or the past. Or if you lace the moment with a dose of judgment. But anything can change at any time, because the only time that is real is right now. The biggest gift you can give someone is to allow them the feeling that they are completely and unconditionally accepted just the way they are.

When we are witnessed, we suddenly feel complete trust in and acceptance for ourselves. The feeling might not last long, but in that one amazing moment, a person can choose to alter the path of their life. Feeling witnessed provides the opening, the allowing, the breath, that can make all the difference to a person. It is one of the most powerful experiences one can have in life.

 

 

Love and Acceptance

love-and-acceptance

How much easier is it to accept or love another person
when you remember they are part of the human race?

How much easier is it to accept or love someone
once you get to know them and like them?

How much easier is it to love and accept someone
that you feel a special spark and kindred spirit relationship toward?

How much easier is it to love and accept someone
when they are your child?

What’s holding you back from loving yourself in the very same way?

Moving Forward By Removing Blocks

The feeling of movement and flow is one of life’s quintessential qualities that we need to feel in order for life to bring us health, happiness and satisfaction. There are a few different ways to look at moving forward in life.

One of the easiest ways to figure out why you might be having trouble in an area of life, is by looking at what could be blocking your flow.

We all have the potential to have our Prince Charming, or Princess Charming, but every now and then, we seem to be looking and looking and no one seems to stick. Like Goldilocks and the bears’ beds, this one is too hard and that one is too soft. But instead of the third one being just right, you find that when you crawl into it, the blankets try to suffocate you.

One way you can go about looking at the trouble is to blame each bed, criticizing them up and down. You can keep trying them, putting your head at the foot of the bed for a change, and still find them inadequate, or you can do something different and flip your perception around.

Instead of putting the blame on the beds, look in a mirror and see what it is in you that gets all cranky with each different bed.

The bed that’s too hard, is actually your want of a softer mattress. The bed that’s too soft is actually your wanting a bit more support from the mattress. And the blankets that tried to suffocate you remind you of the time you stayed at Grandma’s when you were little and got all turned around in a bed, waking up at the foot of the bed where the blankets had been tucked so tightly you couldn’t get out. You freaked out in fear, feeling like you were being suffocated. They smelled just like your Grandma’s blankets, and your old fear got triggered.

This is how life actually works. When the flow of life in any area has slowed to a crawl, or has completely stopped, it’s an amazing opportunity to roll up your sleeves and get a little assistance with figuring out what’s really the culprit. Sometimes all it takes is a fresh pair of eyes, or someone with a bit of experience in the area of helping people who are stuck in life.

Pretty much, if you don’t seem to be making headway, time to take off the blinders and enlist some help. Fortunately, when looking for a fresh perspective to what might be slowing your roll, there are tons of options out there, from talking to a dog, to having a chat with a good friend. Seeking out a trusted advisor such as your church clergy, a therapist, a counselor, and my personal favorite: an intuitive, is always a good option.

What you want, is a new perspective that can help you start rolling forward again. The reason I like intuitive information, is it brings a perspective not seen by most people. The info can illuminate an issue in a way you never thought of, and there is no guess-work. An intuitive sees what’s causing the log jam.

If you’re not sure which way to go with any advice, my advice, based on tons of personal experience, is to listen to your gut. Listen to your heart. If you base your decisions only on your reasoning brain, the way you go might not feel right inside. Trust that feeling deep in you over everything else and you’ll never regret a decision.

After trying those three beds, finding them each inadequate in some way, with your new perspective, you learn there is a master bedroom, and you ditch all the crappy beds for the Tempurpedic upstairs. The model where you can raise your head and feet. And when you get there, you find your Prince or Princess Charming, waiting for you.

Just How Real Is Reality?

Over the past six years, I’ve been an avid student of energy healing and spirituality. More so energy healing than anything else. I also like to read about and watch informational videos about how we perceive reality. Because I’ve been changing so much with all of the healing work I’ve been doing, the way I perceive the world is changing.

In fact, my most recent healing session changed my perception so much that it was flipped around completely. I’ll write in more detail about the session soon, but what I saw as pieces of myself turning around, represented turning the way I perceive life around 180 degrees.

I must have reached some invisible tipping point after creating many small changes in many healing sessions, because how I see life flipped completely around. My brain has literally changed how I am able to perceive my life. It brought me one step closer to seeing the world through non-physical, non-human, non-three dimensional eyes.

perception-and-healing

With all energy healing, the goal is to allow fragmented pieces of your soul to be perceived by you again. Things happen in life and we lose the ability to be able to perceive our souls. We lose the ability to perceive ourselves as our souls.

When this happens, it seems like we lose a part of ourselves. That’s why I so often use language of a lost piece of me that got stuck in time. This is how I perceive it when I can no longer connect to parts of my soul. I have lost the heart connection to my soul.

With every healing experience, I become reconnected to pieces and parts of my soul. I am able to perceive them again. The words, “I once was blind, but now I see” are so fitting.

I’ve noticed that because so many of my lost bits and pieces are now back with me, because I can perceive myself much more strongly as my soul, the feelings and emanations of my soul are able to shine through my physical being that much more easily. In other words, I feel a lot more love in my heart, and the amount of it I feel in any given moment in time is so much more than I used to be able to feel.

I have learned, that reality is truly subjective. How we perceive our reality is based upon so many things. And lately, I’m seeing that people who walk around with different levels of consciousness, quite literally perceive different worlds. I see reasons for this involving beliefs we carry, especially the subconscious ones. And also, it’s related to how much of ourselves as our soul, we are able to perceive.

Through several different teachers, I have learned that what we perceive as our world is merely one possibility. And what I didn’t fully realized until recently, is that I can perceive the world one way and have someone right next to me perceive the world a very different way. At the same time.

A lot of our perceptions of the world are shared, but many are dependent on the individual. Dependent on a person’s level of consciousness; where they are with regards to their beliefs. Our beliefs are so powerful, they quite literally control how we perceive reality.

Have you ever seen a child who believes with all of their heart that something is true, when you know it’s not, and there is no convincing them otherwise? For them, it is true. It is their reality in that moment in time.

Have you ever had the experience of going to an event or seeing something happen with some friends, and talking about it afterwards, only to have very different stories of what you saw? The stories we generate about what we see and experience are highly dependent on what we believe. The feelings that we bring up in association with what we perceive are dependent on our current beliefs. Much of the time, we see the same thing other people see, but not always.

About a week ago, I was looking for some advice, some help. I was looking for another perspective about a few things in my life; a perspective that would be helpful for me. I had a psychic reading with a woman who I’ve seen online. She channels information that she receives very clearly, and it comes through Beings in spirit, including guides and people who have passed away.

In particular, she works with the spirit of a boy, Erik Medhus, who passed away about ten years ago, and who helps many people today. Because when he was in life he was bipolar, I thought that he would have a perspective about my son, who deals with brain issues, that would be helpful to me. What I never thought about, was the level of consciousness of the person who was channeling him.

When the psychic medium brought through Erik, the advice that she gave me with regards to how to handle my son, and what his future looked like, did not resonate with me at all. Although some of the facts of what was happening at the moment were correct, the way they were interpreted, especially as she looked into the future didn’t feel right to me at all. It felt like another reality. It felt like what I would have seen if I’d looked through my eyes about seven years ago, before I had discovered energy healing and healed many of my wonky beliefs.

Part of what she told me was to warn me about trouble that she saw coming down the line in my son’s life. She wanted me to be prepared for it. But, because so much of what she told me felt really off, it bugged the crap of me, and I kept wondering why. I finally figured it out. Because of the level of her consciousness, because of where she’s at with regards to her beliefs, the timeline she picked up on when looking into the future was different from what I’m living.

She quite literally perceives life differently than I do, and this was glaringly obvious when it came to predicting future events. Her perception of life has everything to do with her consciousness: what she believes and what she pays attention to and focuses on in life. Fortunately, I am aware enough to understand that she was only looking at one future possibility for my son, and it was not the track that he is on in my world. Not at all.

As I’ve been healing beliefs that were keeping me separated from my core of pure love, the amount of love I can feel in any given moment in time is becoming greater and greater. Because I feel more love, and can radiate it out, my focus is more solidly on love and concepts and ideas that resonate with love and unity. As I hold a stronger and stronger focus on love and unity, my ability to perceive more love and unity is also growing. The way I perceive the world is quite literally changing for me. I am seeing that reality is actually quite flexible.

This is very different from a Pollyanna who sees the world through rose-colored glasses. A Pollyanna feels pain and denies it’s there. What I do is heal the pain, making it disappear like magic.

My soul has a grand mission of wanting to heal the world. I’ve been grappling with this thought that keeps coming to me, over and over. Because of how I’ve grown up looking at my world and looking at reality, being able to heal the world has always seemed like an impossibility, until now. I thought that everyone around me had to do something in order for the world to change.

From a merely 3D, physical, human perspective, yes. In order for the world to change, people need to do things and create change. And the more people in the 3D world can focus on their lives through their hearts, what is created will reflect feelings of love and unity.

What hit me square in the face in a major healing session very recently, is that I can change my own reality merely by changing things within me.

I don’t have to change anyone or anything other than me. Merely healing my beliefs of separation is creating change. Through healing my beliefs of separation, my perceptions of the world are changing. What I see and feel is changing.

Dr. Hew Len knew this when he used the Ho’oponopono practice to heal a ward criminally insane patients, without ever seeing them. Instead of focusing on healing the patients, Dr. Len focused on healing himself. He focused on healing things existing inside of him that had to do with whatever it was about a patient that was showing up as mental illness. With beliefs and feelings healed, mental illness was no longer perceived. The beliefs and feelings no longer existed in either Dr. Len or the patient. He was able to change reality so powerfully that the people who had been mentally ill were no longer ill. The affect he created is now a shared perception.

We make an agreement when we are in spirit to hold the belief that we become physical beings living in a physical world. Most of us also made an agreement to lose the ability to perceive non-physical beings and things. But some people maintain the ability. We call them psychics and mediums.

I learned you can change your world simply by changing your beliefs. They are that powerful. And if you get really, really good at it, you can heal the world.

 

 

 

Love Is

Love is huge. It is gigantic.

Love Is

Over the past several weeks, I’ve had some incredible experiences with love. While working on healing old hurts that left me not trusting myself, love showed up. And it showed up in the form of angels. God’s messengers of love.

The first time Archangel Michael showed up, the love that he brought was so intense that it left me in tears. Love will make you cry. I don’t care who you are. When you feel as much unconditional acceptance and complete absence of resistance as I felt, there is no other choice. It melts you from the inside out.

Love is the ultimate permission slip that allows us to let go of that which is not our Divinity.

The thing about feeling love when an angel brings it, is the quality of love you’ll recognize the moment you feel it. The quality that Archangel Michael brings to love is power. Incredibly powerful love. Boundless love. Love that absolutely nothing can withstand.

Last week, during a healing session, an angel showed up that I have no special name for, but I knew it was an angel of forgiveness. It stood there, holding incredible amounts of love, to help me forgive myself. I met it nine years ago, quite unexpectedly during a hypnosis session for weight loss.

At the time, it showed up to help me let go of buckets of shame that I’d held onto for far too long. It’s appearance came quite out of the blue, and the hypnotherapist I was working with didn’t have a spiritual background, and thus was as surprised as I, to have an angel join the session.

However, the hypnotherapist I work with now is quite spiritually connected and has me connect to Source (God) in every session, to allow wisdom to come forth, and to bring in love. Because when I feel the energy of Source, it feels like love, I have no problem calling God, love.

I’ve learned that when I hold beliefs, like beliefs that I am less than perfection, and beliefs that I am less than love, feeling these beliefs feels like a contraction, or a tightening of my emotions and a tightening in my body. They feel like weight on me, like fear, like anger, and other things that are uncomfortable. Love brings expansion and relief.

What love does is stand there and allow. It doesn’t judge. It allows. It doesn’t resist or repel. It allows. It doesn’t push me or shove me, or tell me I should be this or that. It allows and accepts me exactly as I am.

Love doesn’t make me be or do anything. Love takes me as I am. Love holds me up. Love lets me be me.

When I am loved so fiercely that it brings me to my knees, what it really does is remind me of who I already am. And with that, I let go. I let go of less than. I let go of shame. I let go of judgment. I let go of fear, anger, sadness and frustration.

Everything that is not my Divine self is allowed to dissolve, transmuted back into love. All I have to do is let go.

Love is.

The Long Con of Life

Here it is. Why are we here? We are here for the long con. The biggest con of all. To reconnect to ourselves. To know that we were never broken. We were never less than. We were never all of the wonky things we thought we were.

We were never really lost or separated, it just felt that way, looked that way, and seemed that way. We were never really alive because we never really die. This human consciousness we carry lets us play out one big long con until we leave these bodies. It’s all for the experience of it all.

We come into a human body and pull down the blinders. We don’t know we are eternal and perfect beings. The separation has begun. Then we enter into human programming through the human fear-based brain. We are literally steeped in survival programming, otherwise the con wouldn’t stand a chance of getting off the ground. We make thousands upon thousands of decisions beginning before we are even born.

We steer our lives this way and that, letting our emotions be our guides. I did this thing and it caused pain. Pain hurts. I won’t do that again. I did that thing and I felt better. I’ll do that again for sure.

And then life throws us something that we must navigate using only our survival brain because we are very young and inexperienced in this thing called life. Life throws us a curve ball. In order to navigate the curve ball, we create a belief that brings relief to our brain. Even if the belief is not true. The sense of logic that was created within the brain allows chemicals of comfort and ease to flow again. The con is underway.

We have just created our first belief that separates a piece of us from our divine core self. The con is rolling. As we are “socialized” and “taught” how to behave within the parameters of our families and our society, we create more and more beliefs about ourselves, more lies, cutting off more bits and pieces. We separate ourselves further and further away from our true selves.

Worst case scenario, we experience such complete and total fracturing of our soul that we create separate personas in an attempt to cope and stay alive. Shy of that, we pick up coping techniques that become self-destructive because they only reinforce the lies of the beliefs we’ve created. Addictions perpetuate the beliefs of less than and imperfection that we create because they temporarily make us feel good. The brain gets happy for a while. And then the lie, the belief we created about ourselves takes center stage once more.

The reason the beliefs we create about ourselves, which are lies, create such havoc in our lives, is because of the dissonance they have with our souls. Your soul knows you as a perfect, beautiful, amazing being, who is literally created from unconditional love. And as such, you are unconditional love. Any time you believe otherwise, it causes reactions inside of you.

It causes reactions, pain, frustration, anger, and fear of all sorts. These are your clues. Follow them to the belief that is alive and well, and fucking you over every day.

Follow your feelings. Feelings of fear, pain and disconnection are the easy button of life. They are the bright red neon sign pointing you to what wants to be reunited with your soul. What is crying out to be reunited with your core essence.

As you discover ways to heal the lies you create along your life’s journey, you will discover a feeling of coming home to yourself. You will notice more peace in your heart. You will know that you are beautiful, and valuable, and perfect, and worthy, just exactly as you are. You will know that any beliefs otherwise were part of the long con whose purpose is to reconnect you back to yourself.

Actually, you were never really separated. It was all in your mind. And it hurt your heart.

Healing a Lifelong Challenge: Massive Soul Retrieval

There’s something about the energies of the times. Lots of things are stirred up for many people, and lots of healing is happening. Most people don’t realized that in order for change to happen, the status quo has to go away. And for this to happen, life can look and feel very uncomfortable in the process. Systems and age-old ways of doing things are breaking down and crumbling. In order to bake a cake, you have to break a few eggs.

inspirational graphic

In my own life, I go digging with a select few trusted people that I work with in the realm of energy healing. I look at something that’s not serving me well, something that’s bugging me either physically or emotionally, and I dive down underneath the conscious feelings to see why the discord and disharmony.

My last few posts have been a series of healing sessions because I’ve been on a roll lately. There’s been an overarching theme of indigestion in my life, and I’ve been seeking for answers as to why.

I worked with my hypnotherapist on why I seemed to be having trouble digesting or processing life over the past several months, because of physical digestion woes. And most recently, I wanted to see why I seemed to have an issue with digesting food over the past several months specifically, and why I’ve been becoming allergic to more and more foods over the past several years. And I also wanted to know why food has been such a big issue my entire life. Why was it the object of my addiction for most of my life, and why, when I was becoming free from its addictive grasp, was I becoming allergic to it and becoming unable to digest more and more of it? Why all the issues and problems with food?

I settled into my hypnotherapist’s comfy chair and let her take me through the relaxation phase. After a while, she had me picture a white light shining down on me from above. It was intelligent and healing, and I let it shine on me and through me. It felt great. I always think of God when I think of this light. When she asked me what I was feeling from the light, it felt like love, completely compassionate and very strong love.

Sometimes when I pass the light over my body, an area is highlighted, or a feeling of discomfort comes up. This time, I felt very relaxed and comfortable. Because we were investigating my ability to digest food, she had me direct the loving light into my mouth, followed by sending it down my throat, into my stomach and intestines, and all the way through my entire digestive tract. Finally, she asked me what I was feeling. (I thought she’d never ask).

The moment the love entered my mouth, I felt a lot of resistance. I could hear a young voice saying, “No! I can’t take it. I can’t stand love. I’m not deserving or worthy of it.” That was surprising. Who was this voice? I knew it was me, but what was going on? I focused on this voice, and I must have been about three years old. I was being spanked. I was told it was for my own good. I was told that I was being punished out of love. That made absolutely no sense to me. Why would love hurt?

Even at such a young age, I knew that love wasn’t supposed to hurt, and yet I was told that painful things were happening to me out of love. If that’s what love was, I didn’t want any part of it. That little girl wanted no part of the love I had been trying to send her. No wonder why. I explained to her that her mother was mentally ill, plus she had learned some pretty old-fashioned ways about showing love, and didn’t know that what she was doing was wrong. With some explaining, the little one slowly began to trust me and let go of her fear.

Once again, we let love flow into my mouth. Very gingerly, the little girl dipped her toe in, accepting it little by little. When she realized how good it tasted, and how wonderfully warm it felt, she let go of the last of her resistance.

With that little one happy, the love flowed from my mouth down into my throat. The minute it hit my throat, I heard a voice that said, “It burns!” In my mind, I asked, “What burns?” The voice answered back, “Truth.” Then the voice elaborated. “Every time I speak my truth, I get burned; I get hurt. My mom hurts me.” In my mind, I asked the voice to elaborate. To tell me more.

It was another young voice from my past. It told me that it was afraid because every time she spoke her truth, she was verbally abused. But then what she was saying changed just a bit. She said that in order to not get hurt so much, and in order to lessen her pain, she created a lot of beliefs about herself – beliefs of being defective and less than – that were lies. Every time she spoke and those lies living in her became activated, they ate her up from the inside out. They were burning her up from the inside out. They were burning her up.

All of a sudden, I saw massive flames burning, emotions hit me like a tidal wave, and tears flowed relentlessly. The knowledge hit me that this little one had created lies about herself that cut herself off from her own Source Energy. She effectively cut herself off from her Divine self. In this realization, the separation immediately ended. This was a massive soul retrieval! Thousands of tiny points of light, like a cloud of fireflies, swarmed back to her/me. They were all of the soul fragments that were waiting to come home to my soul. They were from this lifetime and every other lifetime I’ve ever lived. And I knew they weren’t just for me, it was a soul retrieval for the entire planet.

As we grow up, we create beliefs using our rational mind to explain any time something happens to us that doesn’t feel good or feel right. These beliefs revolve around our being and they have all sorts of tones of “less-than”. Every time one of these beliefs is created, it separates us from our core essence, which is Divine Love and perfection. The further the separation from our Divine selves, the more emotionally and physically uncomfortable our lives become. For me, it’s been through discovering these subconscious beliefs and healing them, that I am being reunited with my core essence, my true self, the Divine being that I am at a soul level.

While I was swimming in the emotions of soul reunion, I asked, “Why food? What does food have to do with all of this?” The answer was so direct and so simple, that it almost seemed too easy. “Food was just a metaphor.”

The knowledge of that simple phrase echoed in my mind. Food was just a metaphor. That’s all it was. It was never more than something my soul chose to use in my life as a way to cope with soul separation. A thing to keep me spinning and searching.

That’s it. All of my struggles and issues with food; all of the emotional addiction issues and physical issues with food have all been clues for me to follow to bring back pieces of my soul to me. It has all been a gigantic puzzle that I finally solved. I got the message in my head that I’m done with this. Food is just food and I won’t need to have any more problems with it. It holds no special power over me.

Holy fucking shit!!!!!

After that massive energy shift, my hypnotherapist had me bring the energy of love into my mouth again. I knew that I could once again taste love. I didn’t have to try to get love through food. I can taste it from Divine Source, where it’s supposed to come from. As I sent the love down my throat, I knew that I could once again swallow life just fine. No more burning throat. And when love reached my stomach, I knew that I could digest life easily. As love passed through my intestines, my colon, rectum, and out, I knew that I could process life and allow things to pass through again.

All of the issues that I’ve ever had with heartburn, acid reflux, indigestion, constipation, diarrhea, stomach aches, and gut aches were all clues left for me so I could eventually figure them out and reconnect to my soul.

As I had love flow through my entire digestive system, the love was beautifully accepted and enjoyed. But when I got to the very end of the system, there was one voice that still wanted to be heard. There is one more piece of me that isn’t ok yet, and because she now trusts me, she’s ok to wait until my next session to be heard. I know who she is, and I’m pretty sure I know why she still needs to be heard. And we’ll work it out soon.

What’s going to take a little time to sink in, is that I figured this food puzzle out. It’s like my soul set up an experience that began with my soul being fractured over and over when I was young, but I was left clues, in the way of food issues such as addiction and allergies and digestive woes. And by following the clues, following my curiosity, discovering energy healing, and putting piece after piece in place, I finally found the last piece that sprung the entire trap, solving the puzzle.

A big confirmation of this is with me today, the day after that session, because I feel a deep emptiness inside of me. All of the energy that’s been wrapped up with this whole thing is now gone from me. It’s all transmuted. I feel like an empty vessel, waiting for what’s next. I know whatever that is will come along. It’s just so weird feeling adrift, bored, aimless, and empty right now. And the last thing I feel like doing is eating something.

Even though I never dealt with alcoholism or drug addiction, I am confident that addiction in all of its forms is a soul set up to reclaim ourselves. It’s the soul’s way of expressing what happens when it becomes fractured and separated from self. I see no difference between craving food, craving a drink, craving a pill, craving a shopping or sex high, or any other type of craving. They are all messages from our souls that are screaming out to be reconnected. I did have times of using alcohol and other things as coping mechanisms, but they never had the choke hold on me that food had.

My adventure of reconnection is far from over, but it feels quite surreal that such a huge puzzle is solved and completed. It will be interesting to see how quickly my body responds to this massive energetic shift, and to see if and when it allows me to eat foods that I’ve had trouble processing for the past several years.  Time will tell.

Healing Cancer

Before I even get into this post, please know that I do not and have not had cancer. But, if I ever did, the first thing I’d do is book a session with my hypnotherapist to look into why it was with me. Cancer always has a reason for finding us. Always. Sometimes it can be healed, saving a person’s life, and sometimes the life is lost, healing the cancer in the transition into death. There are times when cancer can be healed, and the person still passes away, free and clear of the energy. And there are times when a person has cancer and lives with it, eventually passing away, but not directly because of the cancer, and not healing the energy of cancer. This last scenario is what happened with my father. He lived with cancer for over 25 years, and it was never healed or cured. And it was not the cause of his death at almost 86 years old.

I learned the other week, that it’s possible to heal cancer, even before you have it. Here’s what happened.

I have a history of cancer in my family. Everyone I am blood related to from my parent’s generation and my grandparent’s generation, except for one grandmother, had cancer. Because of some previous inaccuracies in our medical knowledge, for years I’ve felt like a marked woman. That because so much of my family had cancer, that I must surely carry a genetic propensity for it, and will likely get it at some point. Modern medicine loves to blame genes for cancer. But they are still working on what turns on a gene in some people, but not in others. The fact is, genes, in and of themselves do not cause cancer. There has to be something that activates them.

The realm of energy healing doesn’t need to get wrapped up with genes, it dives in and asks disease why it’s here and what it and the body needs to become ok and get happy.

As has happened a number of times for me, at my most recent hypnotherapy session, I was addressing something that’s been in my face for a while, something that’s been physically uncomfortable, and the energetic reasons for it absolutely blew me away. I wouldn’t have guessed in a hundred years what came up. And working with a talk therapist could never have uncovered what wanted to come up and be healed. I was shocked, stunned, and must have used up half a box of tissues.

Since last summer, I’ve been tending to a cranky gallbladder and touchy digestive system. If I manage things very proactively, with diet and supplements, everything is happy. But every now and then I’ve gotten lazy, and the result is a sluggish digestive tract which causes pain for my gallbladder.

I’ve been asking why the digestion has been slow, and part of it has to do with how my body reacts to foods it’s allergic to, lately. Staying far away from certain foods has helped a lot, but it hasn’t completely resolved my issue. While rolling the question of digestion around in my mind, and after having conversations about it with a close and trusted friend, it occurred to me to look into not just specific functions, but digestion in general. Why am I having so much trouble digesting food in general? And then the thought hit me to go even broader, to looking into digestion of life.

What am I having so much trouble digesting in life? I’m learning that knowing what question to ask is half the battle sometimes when it comes to healing.

After a few clarifying questions from my hypnotherapist, we dove in to see what would come up. After going through the relaxation phase, she had me notice what I noticed. I noticed my gallbladder talking to me by becoming uncomfortable. As I tuned into it, I picked up on a thread of fear.  The fear was stubborn. It took a few different angles of approach to see beyond it.

When I finally made headway, the fear looked like me, around 3 years old. In a flash of memory, I saw an adult hand grabbing onto my upper arm, making me move down our old hallway. But whose hand was it? I knew, but didn’t want to know. More resistance. I knew that someone wanted me to do something or go somewhere, and being an independent toddler, I wanted to do my own thing. Stubbornly, the resistance wouldn’t let up.

I rolled possible people into the place of the hand on my arm. Was it Mom? That was a very likely possibility. No. It wasn’t Mom. But who and why? I wondered if it possibly could have been Dad. After all, he would do that with us to get us going: grabbing our upper arm so as to not hurt us.

The moment I wondered if it was Dad, not only the affirmative answer hit my head, but the entire reason for my upset did as well. And it was huge. Gigantic in fact. For my little three-year-old self, it had been life-altering. This was the first time my Dad was angry and took it out on me. I knew he wasn’t angry with me, in fact, he was angry with someone else, but took it out on me (because that’s what parents unknowingly do).

The reason it was so shocking to my system, was because up until that moment in my young life, Dad had been the one safe person in my family, my life. He was the one person that I trusted. He was my one source of safety in an unsafe family. And now that was shattered.

It broke me.

As the reality of this little three-year-old’s world hit me, I could see my father with his head hanging in hurt and sorrow. He hadn’t realized that this outburst, this particular interaction with his toddler had been so damaging. He hadn’t struck her, and in fact was careful to not physically hurt her. And yet, her world changed forever that day.

I knew my father was sorry and apologetic. I was directed to picture my father sitting in a chair in front of my 3 year-old toddler self, and to talk to him as the toddler. I expressed my hurt as best I could, seeing that my father wanted to apologize. And as much as I knew he was sorry, and could see that he was sorry, I couldn’t feel it.

I couldn’t make my little one feel the sorrow, and until she could, I knew forgiveness couldn’t happen. It’s something that must be felt in order to be real. As I wondered how to move forward, I remembered that it’s not my job to know how it would go down, but to hand it over to Archangel Michael, who was standing by at this point.

His massive winged form stood in front of me, slightly off to the right, waiting for me to turn things over to him. As soon as I did, Dad was no longer sitting in a chair in front of me, but was standing out in front, and slightly off to my left, facing Archangel Michael. At the same time, an epiphany hit me: my father had experienced the same loss of trust, loss of faith in his own father when he was very young. He had been hurt too.

As soon the knowledge was dumped into my head, tears of empathy fell, tears of sorrow for his hurt fell. Dad had been hurt in the same way I had. It explained his strained relationship with his father. And then I knew that his father had the same experience with his father and so on. It was a chain of energy that travelled down the family line! Holy shit!! I finally felt Dad’s remorse and shame flow. The dam burst in both of us. More tears.

At the same time, when I looked at Archangel Michael, I saw light coming from Source down into his head and out through his hands, beaming directly to my heart and my right side (that had been uncomfortable). The light was divided into two beams; one royal blue, and one emerald green. I knew the light was healing me. And an instant later, when I looked over at Dad, it connected into his heart and his prostate, healing him. Then the blue and green light connected to my grandfather’s heart and prostate, and the organs of his father and his father that required healing, and on back as far as it needed to go.

In this moment, I knew that what was healing was an energetic chain of cancer that came down through my family, and it gave the men prostate cancer. In a flash, a cousin appeared off to my right, and I saw that where he’d had his prostate removed last year because it was cancerous, still carried the family energy of cancer. I saw the ball of energy in him. And as soon as I saw this, the healing light connected to him as well, healing him.

That chain of cancer causing energy in my family is done. It stopped with me. It has been healed. My brothers and son will never have to tangle with it. That said, I have no idea if there are any other planned illnesses in their soul contracts, or other familial energetic chains that they might have to deal with in their future. But they won’t have to deal with this one. I healed it with forgiveness and love.

With this massive shift underway, I checked in with my body again and saw blackness rising out of my heart space and from my entire right side. Some of it was thick and tarry, some was light like soot, and some was so dense that it cracked and was taken care of by Archangel Michael. Little fairies came and took away the bits of soot.

Well, Michael took care of a lot of it, but my heart was helped by Jesus – that’s his territory. He works with my heart. As he’s done before, he stood in front of me, hands out, directing me to give all the blackness to him. Every bit of it. I know now that he can take it. This is what he does, transmuting the blackness, the pain, the fear, back into love.

As he took it all, he commented that I was doing a great job, and that I’d always been one of his quicker students to catch on. I’m remembering what he taught me before, and look forward to remembering more. I think what he was talking about was a thought that hit me as the shift was occurring, the thought that forgiveness can’t happen without the ability to feel empathy. That’s why we have the capacity to feel empathy; so the incredible process of forgiveness can happen. And it can only happen through the heart. True forgiveness has as much power as true unconditional love. I don’t know of anything more powerful in existence.

With all of the forgiveness energy flowing, and the chain of wounding and cancer being healed, as the blackness was leaving my body, I saw light shining out from beneath. But it wasn’t just white or golden light, it was rainbows. Pretty little rainbows. I noticed and thought to myself, that’s cute. Little rainbows. I wonder why rainbows.

The answer was immediate. The light held all the colors of the rainbow. Full spectrum light. The light that was now available to me was full spectrum. It was all frequencies available. I know from uncovering darkness before, that this light is me. It’s who I am. It’s who we all are. We are all beings of light. The only thing covering it up is old hurts, pains, and beliefs that no longer resonate with our current truth. More of the real me is now shining forth again.

I was directed to check in with my toddler self and she was happy, so very happy. In fact, because she was healed, she began to age progress in front of my eyes. Every time during my life that something had resonated with this original trauma, it set something off in me. All of those echoes were being healed. My age steadily progressed into my teens and then my twenties, and on up until I reached my present age, healing happening along the way.

When I checked in with my father, and his father, and so on, they were all so very happy. They told me that they’d had all their hopes pinned on me. That I’d be the one to finally stop this dreaded chain. I suddenly realized why Dad had become a doctor. But he couldn’t heal the chain using modern medicine. And then I realized why I couldn’t go to medical school and had made a hard right half way through undergrad, abandoning my plans of medical school. Good thing too, or I’d likely never have figured this out.

I saw my family members hoist me high on their shoulders, carrying me around with a “hip, hip, hooray!” taking me to the nearest pub to hoist a pint. It all felt very proper and very British. Then I remembered that my grandfather was born in England, as had his father. Of course. It made sense now.

Now that the shift had happened, and healing was proceeding, there was nothing left for me to do. Everything was being taken care of. Archangel Michael would hold the energy in place for as long as was needed, and Jesus would stay as long as he was needed.

With Jesus’ comment about my being a former student, he got me curious. I’ve seen a previous life of mine when he walked the earth, and I saw him heal my child. I also know I was a teacher during that lifetime, but those are all the details I have. I believe that a big part of my life now, is to have experiences and remember his teachings through them, so I can put them out to the world again. At some point, I’ll have a past life regression and take a look into this.

At that, with my consent, my hypnotherapist wrapped up the session and brought me back up to full consciousness.

This was one of the most intense hypnosis adventures I’ve had to date, primarily because I was completely shocked at how I’d been hurt by my most loving father. And secondly because I was surprised to see the ancestral chain of cancer. When I think of the word karma, this is how I use it: as an energetic pattern that is carried on like a chain, through a family. In my own family, I’ve seen this dynamic twice. Other than this instance, where it brought prostate cancer, I’ve seen it on my mother’s side, where it brought a pattern of emotional mother-daughter wounding in the form of verbal abuse. I also healed that chain.

During the session, after the “holy shit” moment of seeing the energetic cancer chain, I cried because I couldn’t believe my soul had chosen to take on such a burden on not one parental lineage, but on both sides. I had a momentary “poor me” episode. For just a moment, I sat there thinking, WTF? Why would I choose that?

But faster than the speed of light, the realization of how completely and utterly amazing my soul is, I AM, hit me like a bold of lightning. How amazing am I that my soul not only took on these extraordinary challenges, but figured them the eff out?!! I mean seriously! Who does that?

I’m just a housewife who doesn’t like housework, and who would rather write and take pictures than anything else, who’s doing the best she can to raise a complicated and amazing son. I’d rather mow the lawn or use the chainsaw than vacuum the house or clean a toilet any day. All I wanted was to lose weight back when I first gave hypnosis a try almost seventeen years ago, and look where I am now. Whoa.

What I’m trying to say is, if I can do it, anyone with proper training and drive, can. As Jesus said (or thereabouts), these things I do, you can do, and more. Heck ya!

Just a quick note: I didn’t begin this session with the intention to dig up a pattern of cancer in my family, it came up along the way. If you have cancer or suspect you do, always work with a medical doctor. And know that energy healing is a great compliment to traditional medication. Also, people who are medically trained with hypnosis can help with things like pain control. There are lots of options out there to take care of your health and well being.

Betraying Myself: The Deepest Cut of All

A few weeks ago, there was something I wanted to investigate using my favorite energy healing tool: hypnosis. Nerves in my body had been on my mind. There are a few in particular that have been talking to me for a while now, like my sciatic, but then my mind wandered to my nervous system in general. I was thinking about how a nervous system develops in a baby and in a child when it’s chronically stressed, as mine undoubtedly did.

Experiencing chronic stress from a mentally ill and sometimes abusive mother must have had an effect on how my nervous system developed. I know that I’ve had traumatic reactions during my life that caught me by surprise, and now I recognize them for what they were. With the powerful tool of hypnotherapy, I wanted to see what could be healed.

Sitting down with my hypnotherapist, we talked over my intentions for the session, and began. Instead of assuming what will come forth, my hypnotherapist asks me to notice what I notice. After taking me into the focused state of hypnosis, my hypnotherapist had me picture a white light above my head. An intelligent and healing light that I flowed down through my entire body. I noticed it passed through much of my body, filling it with a wonderful energy. After a while, I was asked to look toward the white light and see who wanted to come forward to accompany me this session.

The odd thing was, no one came forward this time. For several sessions, Mother God had helped me, and very recently my higher self stepped forward. But this day, no additional intermediary came forth, so off we went. (I later learned that I no longer needed the help of a guide acting as intermediary between me and higher knowledge, which is why none came forward at that time).

I was asked to scan my body to notice what came up. About this time, I heard a voice tell me, “You got this.” One of my guides, John The Baptist, must have been hanging out in the background, because I recognized this as classic John. My consummate cheerleader.

As I looked at my body, I noticed fear around it and my brain. As I tuned into the fear, it was fear of death. Fear that stepping into my own knowing, connecting to my intuition, being connected to Source and all its information, would get me killed as it had in many past lives. When I looked at my brain, I saw pathways of fear woven through it. I knew that many of these pathways were because of beliefs that I took on; beliefs that are not my truth. Then I saw the image of a piece of a nerve. It was black and was obviously not well, the blackness representing fear.

I received the message that the body was not designed to hold onto fear. It was designed to feel fear and then process it through and out of the system. Holding onto fear creates pain and disease in the body. In that moment, I knew that areas of my body that experience chronic pain, are holding onto old fear. And with that knowledge, I can heal them.

Seeing the nerve, that it was black, I next saw a little movie play out, showing the blackness burn off, leaving healthy nerve in its place. I knew I could get this to happen but didn’t know how to get the process started. Then I noticed that Archangel Michael was there with me.

He stood directly in front of me, his massive winged self reassuring me that as soon as I gave him the word, he’d get the healing rolling. I wanted to give him permission, but for some reason I couldn’t. It was the weirdest thing. Most of me was all in, but there was a little niggling piece of me that wasn’t on board. In fact, when I focused on her, she felt very young and was pitching a fit.

I looked at this very young part of me and saw that she was not wanting to cooperate with me at all. Not for a minute. She was telling me “nope, I don’t believe or trust you. It’s not going to happen. You lied to me when you said it was going to be so great to have a life in a body. It hasn’t been great at all. It’s been hard and painful.” She was thinking about life with Mom.

I was trying to figure out how to make this part of me happy. I kept thinking about how she didn’t believe me and she didn’t trust me, and then I thought about how a part of me didn’t trust the rest of me. Then it moved into, I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust God. I don’t trust Divine Intuition. That was the key. A tsunami of tears fell at the thought of my not trusting myself.

The wave of deep sorrow and remorse for letting myself down hit me full force. Every time I didn’t trust myself, didn’t trust my own intuition, didn’t trust The Divine talking to me,  or trust God, I was blocking my own light. I was disrespecting myself and shutting myself off from my own Source Energy and my Light. I apologized to that piece of me over and over and over. I kept telling her how much I love her, and I was hugging her with all the love I could muster.

All the little pieces of myself that had been shut off or blocked, every time I hadn’t trusted my intuition, or honored or loved myself, suddenly appeared. Where one piece had stood, there were now many (perhaps a thousand). They all came back to me. Massive soul retrieval. It took a little while, but eventually all these pieces of me accepted my apology, forgave me, and were happy once again.

With the energy shifted, I saw my nerves becoming cleaned off. Blackness burned off, leaving healthy tissue behind. After a little while, the nerves took on sparkly golden divine Source Energy. When I looked at Archangel Michael, he was standing there as a conduit of Source Energy.

Source Energy flowed into him and out from him, facilitating this process. He helped to hold the Source Energy for me. The intensity and incredible power of love that he held was amazing. His capacity to hold very powerful love knows no end and no bounds. I knew that the process would continue for as long as it needed: for all the dark and blackness to be burned off every nerve in me, so healthy nerve tissue would return. And for the energy to become that of my divine self. I saw the nerve sparkle with golden energy.

I got the message that my nervous system is all better, and that when my body is relaxed and not threatened, my nerves will be ok now and will be at rest. They won’t perceive a death threat when my life is not actually threatened.

With all my nerves turning sparkly golden with divine Source Energy, I knew the process was finishing up. All the little orphan parts of me had returned, and the Conga music started up. As happens at the end of my sessions, the mood was very festive with Conga music and dancing. I wondered to myself, why do I always hear Conga music? And in that moment, the answer hit me as I saw all my formerly orphaned parts jump in line behind me, joining the Conga line. Of course!

The message today for me was one of betrayal of self and of forgiveness. I saw a picture in my mind of Source Energy feeding me, enlivening me, providing energy and information to me, and each time I didn’t trust myself or I didn’t love myself, I blocked Source Energy from myself (it was blocking my own light and energy from myself). I didn’t respect myself. In communicating with an orphaned part of myself, I learned that the deepest betrayal is betraying oneself.

By apologizing to myself heart to heart, forgiveness at the cellular level happened. In forgiving myself, it’s opening me back up to all parts of myself. It’s opening me back up to receiving Divine Love and receiving me. It’s bringing more of me back to me. It’s reclaiming myself. I once was lost, but now I’m found.

 

Experiencing The Source Of All

I was just watching a playlist of videos of Oprah’s interview with Dr. Eben Alexander, about his near death experience (NDE) that happened because of becoming very sick with meningitis. His book, Proof of Heaven, chronicled what happened to him when he left his body because it temporarily died. With his neurosurgical training, he has intimate knowledge of how our brain functions, and laid out a very convincing argument to prove to doubters and non-believers that his experience was not a hallucination produced by the physical brain. He was able to prove, through his experience, that his consciousness, who HE is, exists outside of and separately from his brain and physical body.

Even when his brain stopped functioning, and his body died, HE still existed. And he had the amazing experience of our Source Energy. His book describes what he felt and saw, and it left no doubt for him that he experienced what we call Heaven and God. Although, the term God as it’s used in today’s society is much too limiting for what he experienced, so he calls that energy Om. The Everything. The All. That was the sound he heard.

He experienced Oneness. The feeling, seeing, hearing, and knowing that we are all one energetic thing. And it’s only through our left brain that we perceive ourselves as physical and as physically distinct and separate from each other. Check out a few minutes of Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s experience of the left side of her brain shutting down when she had a stroke. She described the boundaries between her body and her surroundings, dissolving, melding into oneness.

She’s a doctor who studies the brain, so as she was having a stroke, she was able to watch it from the inside out. (The entire video is a great watch, but here is just the few minutes of her experience of another reality).

Having read several people’s stories of near death experiences, and stories about dead people’s death experiences as channeled through mediums, there is a common thread of an alternate reality to our everyday world. And because this reality isn’t perceived by our brains, by virtue of having a left hemisphere, most people can’t even begin to relate to it.

Even though Dr. Bolte Taylor didn’t die, she experienced consciousness outside of herself, as the left side of her brain shut down. She experienced herself as pure energy, pure consciousness.

During Dr. Alexander’s interview, as he explained how he experienced what he calls Om (because the term God is much too limiting), Oprah looked at him incredulously. She asked him if he heard what he was saying, intimating that he sounded crazy.

Well, how would you explain the unexplainable, the incomprehensible? Our human brains can’t fully grasp what it is to be without our bodies, experiencing Oneness. For eons, mankind has tried to put into words the experience of this mystical, mysterious thing called God. Religion has held the job of translation, and most churches I know describe God as a protective and loving (or mostly loving) paternal being. They describe him as a great and powerful being that exists beyond us mere mortal sinners.

How can you explain an experience to someone who has no point of reference for it? How can you explain to a person who has only ever lived in a hot desert climate and who has never even seen a picture of snow, what it is to go snow skiing? You can describe and describe, but until you put on layers of clothing, covering everything but your mouth, strap on a pair of skis, ride a lift up to the top of a freezing cold mountain, and hit the powder, you really can’t even begin to appreciate the nuances and the entirety of the experience.

Because I grew up not knowing God, I adopted a belief about it. I was taught a definition of God, and as I grew up and began to explore, my definition shifted a little bit this way or that. But one day, any faith or belief I had about God went out the window when I had an experience.

After that day, the word God became too limiting for me. God was no longer a “he” or even an individual separate from me. Well, because I perceived a voice speaking to me, part of me thought of God as a being separate from me. But at the same time, I knew that I was part of it. A spark of the divine.

It happened almost three years ago during an intensive four-day workshop. The first few days were spent doing healing exercises, building trust and a safe space, preparing us for what was to come. By the third day, we were walked step by step through a guided meditation that ended up with our meeting God in our heart.

I have to say that I was quite nervous at the prospect of meeting God. I can still remember my heart pounding at the beginning of the meditation. With child-like enthusiasm, I slid down a long, curvy slide, into a moon pool of water. The room was dimly lit by light coming up through the water. (We were guided to keep our thoughts light, fun, and like those of a child playing).

All of a sudden, everything changed. I was there with God. Because I wasn’t dead, I didn’t have the extent of the experience that Dr. Alexander did, but I remember bits and pieces of the conversation we had (because my brain was still very much functioning). I remember that a ton of information was dumped into me. But it happened so fast, my brain could only grasp bits and pieces. I was shown what looked like a gigantic Imax screen that extended from floor to ceiling, 360 degrees around me. On it I was shown many scenes of nature, of all sorts of people, mountains, and more. In that moment, I knew that I am everything and everything is me.

I saw, understood, and knew that my connection to God comes through my heart, and that I am always connected and have always been connected. I knew that God speaks to me through my thoughts all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. And the communication is subtle.

More than what was going through my head, I remember what it felt like. The feeling was so overwhelming that I was reduced to a puddle of tears. They rolled and rolled and rolled down my face and neck. The complete acceptance, and powerfully unconditional love (times a bazillion) just blew me away. Trying to put this experience into words doesn’t begin to do it justice.

Because of that experience, I know the energy that is God/ Source/ All That Is. I feel no need to prove it to anyone.

Since that workshop, I’ve connected to my divine self many times, reinforcing the knowledge that as much as God appeared to be separate from me when I connected in so deeply, that amazing energy that I felt is what I am created from. And as such, I AM that same amazing Divine Energy. As is everyone on this planet. I am a seemly separate (and yet not) aspect of Source Energy, comprised of the same qualities of unconditional love and complete acceptance.

As a distinct aspect of Divine Energy, I exist both in a human body and in spirit simultaneously. From my studies, I believe that just a portion of my total being is used to animate my human body, while the rest of my spirit resides as spirit. Connecting to my higher self is connecting to this part of me that resides in spirit, the part of me that is always with God (if you will). In energetic terms, it’s the part of my energy that never leaves Oneness.

Back in the fall of 2000, I had an experience of connecting with my higher self. The feelings began as the high energy of a storm, morphing into unbelievable power, and then into compassion and complete love. When I experienced God in 2014, the feelings I felt were much the same, only much more intensified, and accompanied by an information download.

As much as people who have had NDE’s have had their own individual experiences of God, and I have had experiences of God, still others have their own experiences through meditation or when communing with nature. Every experience is as valid and as meaningful as the next. And the common thread is the feeling of unconditional love.

If you don’t feel like you’ve really felt the presence of God, but want to, pay attention to the still small voice in your head that speaks only in the most loving voice. Listen for the voice that reaffirms your beauty and consistently encourages you, loving you through everything with absolutely no judgment. It might take some practice, but I believe you can do it. Sometimes it’s easier to hear when you’re out in nature.

The biggest take-away I hope you get from my experience, is the understanding that no matter what voices chatter away in your brain, your core essence is this indescribably beautiful, divine, sparkly,  and amazing love energy. This is what you are made of. What we are all made of.

For the past several years, I’ve been working on healing myself using a variety of forms of energy healing. Part of that process has been peeling away social programming, beliefs I took on from others, and suffering I held onto from years (and even lifetimes) ago. What’s being uncovered is everything that is left: my divinity.

If you still think you are imperfect and less than, what’s holding you back from knowing you are beautiful, perfect, and amazing?

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