Much like my own mother, there are times I find myself swinging in the wind, floating on the breeze or being carried off by a storm. The mind swings forward, fretting about the future, second-guessing the past, and lashing out at the present. As much as I think about the future and try to control it, I can’t. And as much as I might have wanted to do things differently in the past, I didn’t. And as much as I sometimes rail against myself and how things are in the present moment, I know it’s just a part of me, a small voice from my past, that’s rising up, crying to be heard.
In the world of spirit, time doesn’t really exist the way it does here in the physical world. I’ve read, from people who have died and from mediums who contact the dead, that when we exist as pure energy, everything happens at once. Time isn’t linear and sequential the way we experience it. When Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor had a stroke and the left side of her brain shut down, she experienced this shift in her perception of time (and her perception of the not so solid physical world).
Pondering the idea of time, and having read some works written by spiritual masters, it’s pretty easy to see that the only time that’s real is now. And even that is already gone.
Getting too hung up on the past and the future sometimes bogs me down so much that I struggle to put one foot in front of the other. That’s when I know I’m not grounded.
To me, being grounded is a state of being connected energetically as fully into the physical world as possible, being so completely present in the here and now, while knowing that I am also the energetic spirit that lives my body. It’s accepting that I’m a physical human being and being ok with all of that, at the same time knowing I’m also an amazing, sparkly, unconditionally loving soul being.
FYI, in case you’re wondering how to get there, just know that it’s not really a destination in the sense of a place you get to and stay. It’s more of a place we visit, and with healing work, I’m able to visit here more often. Happens for people who meditate regularly, I’ve heard.
The more I accept myself as a human being, with all of my “faults” and “imperfections,” the more of my spirit energy inhabits my physical body. Healing work has helped me let go of blocks I’d set up in my body, and opened up the flow of my own healing energy.
One of the most healing moments I’ve ever experienced was when I knew that in every moment of my life, I’ve always done the best I could. Given my state of mind and state of being, and given my age and state of maturity at the time, given every circumstance around and within me, I have always done the best I could. How do I know this? Simple. I’m alive.
The game of life is about being alive, when it comes down to it. Every single anger, sadness, frustration and fear I’ve ever investigated (using hypnosis or meditation), when traced back in my own unconscious mind, emanated from being afraid I was going to die. To no longer exist. If I die, the game of life is over. I know that every decision I made that wasn’t in alignment with my heart, and every thought I held onto that became a negative belief in me, was done so to keep me alive.
In seeing this dynamic that plays out in every single human being, seeing that I broke my own heart, I was able to forgive myself for every time I was not loving, for every time I hurt someone, for every time I closed off my heart to myself by creating beliefs of less than.
Forgiving ourselves for all of our less than loving moments, for every time another person’s feelings were hurt in response to our actions or feelings, is one of the most grounding things a person can do. Suspending judgment that things in the past should have been different, is freeing.
We all know that things in the past could have gone differently if we’d made other choices. But I can speak from personal experience in saying that there are many times in life when we feel like we have no other choice than the one we pick. It’s easy to Monday morning quarter-back ourselves and others, but “shoulding” on ourselves is not helpful. It does nothing but perpetuate internal pain.
Yes, I’ve look at patterns in my past and vowed to make changes, vow to be different. And then I made the same choices over and over. This is where healing work shines: illuminating the “why” I made the choices, enabling and facilitating change.
A half-dozen years ago, I was sitting in a class of about six, imagining a cord that connected my first chakra (an energy center in our lower body) to the center of the earth. I pictured a rope that extended from me, and wrapped around the molten core of our planet, securely fastening me. Anchoring me. Grounding me. (Here’s an article that describes the basics of grounding.)
I pictured energy from the earth coming up through my feet and legs, through my first chakra (pictured above), and sent stress and unpleasant thoughts down my grounding cord, back to earth where it was taken care of for me. That was basically my Grounding 101.
Since then, not only do I still use this imagery in meditation from time to time (and more), but because of letting go of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that have kept me swinging in the wind, floating on the breeze or being carried off by a storm, my every day existence is becoming one of being increasingly grounded into the present moment by default.
That’s what healing does.
It’s a process of forgiving myself for every moment I’ve acted in a less than loving way. It’s remembering that my soul chose to have this physical experience, and all that comes with it. It’s finding ways to let go of hurts from the past so I don’t keep re-experiencing them.
It’s a process of opening my heart again and again, allowing all of the bits and pieces and fragments of my past to be accepted back into my heart. Allowing all of the parts of myself that stand outside of my heart, back in.
It’s ultimately a process of self-acceptance. Of my very human self. A continual, ongoing process of remembering that I chose to be human for the experience of it all.