Many people who walk a spiritual path seek to connect to the realm beyond the physical and want to do things like have out-of-body experiences, astral travel, or remote view. They seek the subtle energy realm and connection with God and angels. And they spend time in daily meditation with the goal of transcending the physical body and mind. None of these goals are inherently bad but some teachings focus so much on the metaphysical, the mystical, that people sometimes forget that we’re here to experience through our physical bodies.
As much as I’d love to be able to have an out-of-body experience and fly like I do in my dreams, and I’d love to be able to see or hear subtle energy easily, my Kundalini journey has made me appreciate the human body more than ever. There were a few times shortly before the energy opened when I was working with a healer having deeper and more intense energetic shifts than ever, and when I opened my eyes at the end of our sessions, my hands looked smaller and a little more claw-like. It was really weird. And within minutes it passed.
I’ve heard people who’ve had NDE’s (near death experiences) talk about entering back into their bodies, only to perceive their bodies as odd, ugly, and rudimentary as compared to when they were free from them. But during my healing session, although I was in a meditative state, I wouldn’t say I was truly out of my body.
My healing path started because of being overweight. Because a lifetime of dieting wasn’t working and I had to find another way. These days I firmly believe my soul chose to take on issues with being overweight as a vehicle for change. To give me something to chase, and to find hypnotherapy.
Once I met the hypnotherapist who would catapult my healing journey, there were sessions that healed how I felt about my body no matter its size, and sessions that reclaimed lost power giving me the ability to stand up for myself without having to be pushed far beyond my comfort zone. Instead of my body being something that was too fat and fill-in-the-blank when it came to judgments, I began to appreciate it for the miracle it is. And as my inner child’s wounds began to become healed, I not only began to love myself for the first time in my adult life but love my body.
Having completed fifty-eight trips around the sun, there are aches and creaks now and then, and I inherited many of my mother’s genes. My hair is quite far from the dark brown it used to be, and my anglo skin is getting thinner and more wrinkly. And at the moment my body is carrying quite a bit of extra weight. But it’s working. My heart is strong, my lungs fill and empty by themselves, and all four limbs work.
Despite a monumental amount of inner shifts courtesy of Kundalini energy’s effect on my body and entire energy field, I’m still here plugging away. Is my body functioning perfectly? No. I have a few things going on that I take meds for, and once I feel like myself again and have energy back, I fully expect to release a lot of weight, reverse most or all of these issues and get off meds. I’ve done it before and can do it again.
Something I appreciate about my body is how resilient it is. I’ve both gained and lost weight, have broken and strained things, have been operated on, and it keeps on keeping on.
It’s kept my secrets locked inside, occasionally acting out, allowing me to go on and on. And it’s taken me all over the globe. My body has been the vehicle through which I experience life and all its highs and lows, joys and sorrows. Through all the complexities and simply being.
And my mind has the elasticity and ability to shift focus just enough to allow me to experience the metaphysical and change myself from the inside out.
Ironically, it’s been through my experiences beyond the physical that I know that our primary life purpose (for those who want to know their purpose) is simply to exist here in the physical realm. To perceive ourselves as physical beings. To buy into the “illusion” lock, stock, and barrel. Our souls pick and choose the outline of our life while we’re here, and it’s evident I was destined to walk the path of a healer. Like many healers, I identify with the phrase “wounded healer” because it’s through transmuting my own trauma that I’m healing. Healing my body and mind for the purpose of putting the information out into the world and beyond.
My soul chose to have an experience of disempowerment by living in a female body in a very patriarchal society. It chose to experience disempowerment through having a sensitive body and being subject to emotional and physical abuse. My soul also made sure this body was surrounded by all sorts of earth angels and non-physical angels, guardians, and guides to protect me and help me transmute disempowerment. This body has been protected from harm and from death a few times. We all come in with protection, even if we’re not aware of it.
I wouldn’t be able to have this life and the growth I’m going through if it weren’t for my body, which I appreciate most of the time (unless I’m having a rough day). Quite honestly, with all that I’ve been going through lately, I’m not sure if when I reach the end of my journey I’ll be excited to finally get back to the other side, or if I’ll be terribly sad for it to end. Or possibly a bit of both.
For today, I honor, respect, and love the body I’ve called home for many years, and look forward to moving on from the current phase of extreme transformation into something more grounded and functional on a human level.