Being Witnessed

Photo from NASA

During the spring of 2011 a few weeks after becoming Reiki attuned, I sat for a psychic reading. It was my first reading, and something about it cracked me open. Wide open. From time to time I’ve wondered how a psychic reading could initiate a spiritual awakening, and I believe it’s because I was witnessed that day.

A soul sister (the psychic) saw me, validated me and everything I’d been through, and gave me incontrovertible evidence that there was something beyond our physical world. Don’t get me wrong, I believed in psychics before the reading, had read a book about a near-death experience, and had even had a few metaphysical experiences during hypnosis sessions. But the knowledge held in my head coalesced with my heart and cracked it open.

The awakening set me on my soul’s purpose of healing.

Today I was reminded of the power of being witnessed. Feeling seen and heard, and being validated.

Scrambed Eggs

The beautiful thing about inner healing work is how it’s changed my life. I spent decades with hidden beliefs of less than affecting my life at every turn. They made me think I was used goods, defective, and generally not good enough. And even though intrusive thoughts didn’t derail my life, they certainly impacted it now and then and tended to make me somewhat anxious.

When I began to work in hypnotherapy, things really began to change. And after my first very unexpected spiritual awakening, I was set on a path of healing. Energy healing. A few years into the awakened passion for energy healing, I met a hypnotherapist who changed my life. Following threads of frustration and boredom that led to chronic overeating, I began to meet my wounded inner child: the part of me who carried all my beliefs of less-than. She was the part of me who’d been quite literally scared to death many times over. In an attempt to make sense of all of the fear and pain she felt, a host of beliefs were created essentially blaming herself.

We all do it. Even though my situation was perhaps more painful than others, I soon realized that part of the process of growing up, maturing, being socialized, is the creation of beliefs of less-than and associated negative emotions. I call it the human condition and it’s a big part of why we choose to incarnate: to experience contrast in a way we can’t when we’re not physical.

After working with my hypnotherapist for a few years, my inner child began to know herself as divine, and so did I. I healed a handful of deeply held beliefs of less-than and began to see the world through eyes of compassion and understanding. I also had more inner peace than I’d ever known. It was truly amazing.

In early 2017, when my inner world had never been so confident and comfortable, I experienced another awakening – another major inner shift – that was accompanied by Kundalini energy. During the previous two years I’d felt the energy stir. I felt it briefly during a metaphysical workshop, and I felt it when I did certain types of meditation, but it was always sort lived. After the major shift in 2017, Kundalini energy awoke like a fire-breathing dragon. And it’s been roaring ever since.

Most Kundalini awakenings are very active during the first several months to a few years. And the action of the energy changes a person from the inside out. They heal. Because I’d already been on a healing path, had studied energy healing, and found a modality that worked well for me, the increased sensitivity that Kundalini energy brought made the creation of inner healing shifts easy. Very easy.

What I never expected was for my Kundalini experience to last for over seven years and for it to evolve to a point where I feel like I never feel fully integrated. My mind isn’t clear like it used to be, and I don’t have much energy. I’m not myself.

I know I sound like a broken record because it’s been going on for years, but it makes life hard.

Here in the U.S. it’s the time of year when we have to file taxes. I don’t have the brain power to take care of this without an accountant, and the amount of energy it’s taken to do what I used to do without batting an eye is astounding. After getting paperwork back from our accountant and having two questions, it took me almost two hours to craft an email asking the questions. Previously, it would have taken about ten minutes. My brain feels like scrambled eggs.

Seeing the accountant’s bill, that was slightly higher than last year (because with my husband’s retirement last year there were more forms to fill out), instead of being grateful that I didn’t have to do all the work, a little bit of fear about money cropped up. The thoughts weren’t fun to have passing through my mind, and they aren’t me. And the only reason any fearful thoughts ran through my mind is because of my ongoing awakening process. I hate that my natural state of gratitude, abundance, wholeness, and general well-being has temporarily disappeared.

A few days ago I renewed my car’s registration and put the paperwork in my glovebox. At the same time I checked my insurance cards to make sure I had one copy of the most recent one in my wallet and one in my glovebox – I often forget to keep a copy in my glovebox for when my husband or son uses my car. Looking at the insurance card, I saw it was about to expire and was surprised that I didn’t have another card. We always get our car insurance bill with the new cards about a month before our insurance expires. Where were the new cards?

Being Saturday, I had to wait until Monday to call our insurance agent, and when I called, I was assured that our insurance had been paid and was up to date. Hmm. I’d checked our records and hadn’t seen a payment since last fall (we’re billed every six months), but if the agent’s records had us up to date I was ok (if not still a bit perplexed), and asked for a copy of the insurance cards. When I received the cards, I was a little confused as to why they were the same ones I already had: the ones that expired on Saturday. Why would she send me out of date cards? I checked and rechecked the year – yup, 2024. And then I finally realized my confusion. My insurance expires in May and my brain read it as Mar.

Fuck.

For four days I’d been going in circles in my mind about my car insurance. If my head wasn’t a bunch of scrambled eggs, this never would have happened.

The process I’m still going through has been making life not fun and really hard. But even as I write these words, I feel my guides and spirit team encouraging me, telling me to hang in there, hold on, and that everything’s ok. They’re reminding me that my soul chose to incarnate to do some really, really big healing work, and even though it’s been hard, they say it’s worth it. They remind me that I’ll think it’s worth it once I feel a bit more like myself… which will happen at some point. Just not soon enough some days.

Healing Roots and a Visit From Jesus

Shortly before my most recent healing session, I noticed that I’d been gravitating to drinking and eating things relating to roots: root beer, potatoes, and carrots. So it wasn’t a huge surprise when I was drawn to my root chakra during the session.

During the years of my Kundalini awakening, I’ve been drawn to address all sorts of things during my healing sessions, from body aches, pains, and issues, to recurring emotional triggers, to specific chakras. And the other day was no exception. When I can’t pinpoint anything specific but I know something needs to be released, I bring forth my higher self and let her guide the way.

Working with my talented and intuitive Reiki Master, while I was on the table, she scanned my body and invited my inner child to come in. I began the healing journey seeing my higher self in a dualistic form of a young girl who was very excited to heal what was coming, and a mature, wise adult who held the girl’s hand as they walked down a road. Initially, the road was well-lit, but before long, there were no street lights and the paved road turned to dirt.

As the pair walked along, the little girl began to embody the darkness they were walking into and became perturbed. The further they walked, the more the little one began to balk and get annoyed, and the dirt road became mud. I saw her trying to trudge through the mud as the going got more difficult. With every step, the mud became deeper and it became more difficult to move forward. The little one also began to age until she was a teenager who had quite an attitude. With every step and gripe, the wise adult encouraged her and helped her to keep moving forward.

Eventually, the teenager felt like everything was pointless and she hit an emotional wall. She’d reached the energetic block.

I asked the wise adult higher self to let me know what the block was about and was instantly taken back to when I was being molested and first realized that I was probably pregnant. It was such a terrifying thought at the time that I absolutely couldn’t face it. When I missed a few periods I wrote it off to their being new and irregular – I’d only had my period for a few months when I became pregnant. But when I began to feel inner stirrings as well, part of me was pretty sure I was pregnant and I became terrified. Not only did I blame myself for being molested but now it would be found out, the shit would hit the fan, and I’d get in so much trouble.

Being a pregnant, unmarried teen in the late 1970s was bad enough, but being pregnant by my brother was unimaginably shameful. My mother’s manic rage already terrified me but what would she do to me when she found out? And what would my beloved father think of me?

I couldn’t even begin to face it, and I saw that my consciousness had fractured. I lived in terror and denied the truth as long as I could.

Looking at my first chakra, I saw a massive ball of fear, terror, and denial, completely plugging it. It looked like a huge boulder, and my inner teen was completely frozen in fear.

Then I saw the adult higher self take the teen’s hands and say, “I’ve got you. No matter what, I’ve got you.” The moment they made a heart-to-heart connection, my heart broke open, tears began to flow, and the energetic block began to dissolve. The mud into which the teen had sunk and been stuck suddenly dried up and she took a big step up and onto what was now a dirt road. The path became easier to walk.

Because I’ve already processed so much from that time in my life, the teen quickly let go of her fear and turned to look back at the scene remarking that it had been a tough one. My soul’s choosing to be molested and going through an unintended pregnancy and birth had been a hell of a life lesson to go through and grow through. I was seeing this part of my life from a higher perspective.

Feeling a bit of resolution, I checked in with my first chakra and saw that much of the massive boulder had dissolved. It was now the size of a marble, yet there was still some darkness waiting to be addressed.

Most of my healing sessions these days contain more than just one healing moment, addressing things at different levels of consciousness. I’ll see something that relates to my life or a past life, and then I’ll see something that resonates at a more collective level. I had a feeling that whatever was left to address would take me to a broader level.

I saw my inner child walking along the road and it turned into a tunnel going underground. She began to get scared but wanted to find and heal whatever was left. As I looked at the tunnel, it began to morph into more of a tubular shape that reminded me of the inside of my colon (I’d recently had a colonoscopy), and then it morphed into a wormhole in space. Picturing the wormhole and being guided by my spirit team, I realized I was picking up on a vortex – the vortex we traverse when we enter physical reality.

I know that when we enter the physical world, we only bring in part of our soul’s energy, and we have to condense it and slow the vibration so it can merge with a physical body. When we’re in spirit, our soul is very excited to incarnate, but now I began to sense fear as well. Focusing on the fear, I connected with a part of myself who knows herself as a healer who chose to take on some massive challenges and goals for this lifetime. She was very confident in her choices to not only heal during this lifetime but to “heal the fuck out of things”. But there was also some fear about having possibly bitten off more than I can chew. Did I take on too many challenges or ones that were too tough? She knew it was going to be hard at times and not just hard but brutal with some really long-lasting trials (like this years-long awakening).

My higher self encouraged the younger one, telling her that she’s not alone. Upon speaking the word “alone” I became emotional because during many of my life’s tougher challenges, I’ve felt very alone. I’ve felt like there was no one I could turn to and no one who truly understood me because they weren’t going through my experience.

Although many people go through Kundalini awakenings, each process is unique to the individual. No one is walking the exact same road as I am. Likewise, although far too many people have been molested, no one’s experience was exactly the same as mine. That said, what we all share in common are feelings. We all go through things that leave us feeling alone.

My higher self spoke to the fearful aspect, telling her that life will be hard at times because I’ll forget all of my connections on the other side, and I’ve got a lot of them. She showed me that I’ve had many galactic lives and many lives here on Earth, and she showed me how big my energy really is. Massive! She continued, telling me that taking just a tiny thread of my energy and using it to animate a human body isn’t easy. I saw that my energy was so big it reached throughout galaxies. And the degree of difficulty of bringing only a minuscule amount of it into my body was compounded by choosing to bring down the veil of forgetting, cutting me off from Oneness and any awareness of the other side. That’s the first time we feel alone: when the veil cuts us off from Unity Consciousness.

Then they showed me the big surprise of having spiritual awakenings later in life, letting me know it was all planned before I was born. They told me that everything is going according to plan and to not worry. (I sometimes worry that I’ll never feel like myself again).

I saw the interconnectedness between many different parts of my soul. Even though we perceive time as linear, I saw many different lifetimes appearing as parts of my soul. I also saw the interconnectedness between me and my soul family. Feeling like I was floating in outer space, all these soul pieces looked like stars in the sky.

My spirit team led by my higher self validated that yes, it’s harder to be in a physical body, and said they’re very proud of me. They continued to cheer me on and before I knew it the Violet Flame showed up burning off the rest of the darkness.

The flame traveled up through my chakras and blew my heart wide open. As my back arched and the intensity of the energy made it briefly difficult to take a breath, I began to connect even deeper with spirit. I knew that the Violet Flame was burning off whatever was available to be transmuted that day, and after a few minutes, I sensed the clean-up crew coming in to sweep away the ashes.

I often see what appears to be little sprites or fairies with dustpans and whisk brushes sweeping up the leftover ashes after darkness has been healed, and this day they were led by Jesus. He tends to appear after I’ve shifted things, when blackness has turned to ash, and he gathers the ash taking it back to Source where it’s recycled (fully transmuted back into love). Jesus showed up with a broom and dustpan, cracking me up as he made like a comical janitor sweeping up the soot and ash, telling me he was part of the clean-up crew.

He told me that when I see Catholics who’ve got ashes on their forehead, this is the ash. “I take away the ash after things have been transmuted,” Jesus told me. I’m not Catholic so I’m not well-versed with the ritual, but I grew up with lots of Catholic kids in my school and saw their ash-laden foreheads on Ash Wednesday.

In my experiences with Jesus, I know he taught people how to live with Unity Consciousness. He understood the Law of Attraction: you will reap what you sow. He also understood that healing was the way to inner peace. When you are wronged, instead of seeking revenge and retribution, finding a way to feel compassion and a sense of understanding for those who have wronged you will set you free. Holding onto hate and anger in the long run only hurts you. And the ultimate form of forgiveness is the inner work of forgiving ourselves (inner healing). He’s a master healer who is all about living through your heart instead of being solely ruled by the head.

He’s referred to me as his student and I’ve seen a few bits of a past life when I connected with him, eventually becoming a disciple.

I’m pretty sure he showed up recently because it’s close to Easter. Over the past few years, even though I know he’s always with me, I don’t always see him during my healing sessions.

Once Jesus stepped back, I refocused on my first chakra and saw that the blockage was completely cleared, and the chakra, appearing as a ring, was studded by diamonds and sparkling crystals. Diamond light energy that contained all the colors of the rainbow. I could tell that tons of energy was blasting through the chakra, something like a jet engine.

Looking towards my higher self, I saw the wise, compassionate adult and the young child hand-in-hand and dancing up a storm. They were joyfully partying down, shouting how cool and fun and amazing the healing was.

Then, the older higher self turned toward me, looked me in the eyes, clasped her hands together, and solemnly bowed, telling me that I’m amazing, bringing me to tears. My heart was wide open and brimming with love as I felt the entire Universe within my heart.

Roots

Have you ever noticed being drawn to eating certain types of food at times? Like eating light, cold food like salads when the weather’s hot, and hearty, warm food, like stews and curries, when the weather’s cold? Or when you’re stressed, gravitating to snacks, sugar, or comfort food? Today I noticed that I’ve been drawn to roots.

For most of my life I’ve had a challenging relationship with food, eating more than I need and eating when I’m not hungry, and during hypnotic healing sessions I began to not only see the roots of food issues, but healed them. I loosened the grip of all sorts of cravings that were driven by a host of insecurities and fear. Healing relieved me of boatloads of unconscious fears that I responded to with food. Food quieted angst. Or it tried to.

Eating food can be grounding. Because we’re physical beings with bodies that rely on food, eating reminds us of this fact and helps to ground us into the physical world. From a more physical perspective, certain foods give our brains hits of feel-good chemicals that we may be lacking, and the act of chewing and putting pressure on the jaw gives the body proprioceptive input that relieves stress.

Although healing work relieved me of unwanted food cravings and brought my relationship with food into greater balance, my Kundalini awakening process that’s left me feeling very ungrounded pretty much all the time has kicked the balance off kilter. Way off kilter.

The thing is, any time I’m grounded, rooted into the present, and feeling like myself, my food challenges go away (which is unfortunately a rare occurrence these days).

Just this morning I noticed that when I’m not drinking water or tea (my go-to’s) I’ve been drawn to drinking root beer for the past several months. I’ve always loved the flavor of root beer but it just dawned on me that it was originally brewed from plant roots (hence the name).

I also noticed that the propensity I’ve had for potatoes is beginning to wane a little bit. For the past few years, I’ve had an unusually strong drive to eat potatoes, and often slices or slivers that have been deep fried. For most of my life, although I really liked potatoes, they were rarely something I craved… until my Kundalini awakening.

Being drawn to drinking drinks made from the essence of roots and eating root vegetables shows the need for being rooted and grounded. Not only is the symbology relevent, but roots contain the seat of energy of a plant. Potatoes, carrots, and beets, abound with sugars that carry energy that’s readily available.

When I find myself tired, which is every day at the moment, I naturally gravitate towards food that can give me a quick burst of energy. But because I’m diabetic, I have to be mindful of which ones and how much. The root beer I’ve been drinking is either sweetened with stevia or it’s in a low sugar concoction that includes prebiotics (Poppi) that I drink medicinally every few days. And when I go for potatoes, carrots, or beets, I try to limit the amount and eat them with some protein. Eating meat is grounding, too, but sometimes I can’t deal with very much.

My food choices have been reflecting my need to feel grounded and rooted into this world. When I’m feeling more out of sorts, my lower chakras aren’t open and receiving the Source energy I need, and it’s indicative of the need to heal something.

We ground into the physical world through our lower chakras. The first chakra relates to our relationship with this physical experience: the physical world. The second chakra relates to our relationship with other people, starting with our family. And the third chakra relates to our relationship with ourselves and is our seat of self-empowerment. A few universal issues that relate to our lower chakras are feelings of abandonment, fear of death, and feeling broken and unworthy of love.

When our lower chakras aren’t balanced, we tend to feel all sorts of negative emotions, are unbalanced, uprooted, and may feel adrift in the world. And during these times, my food issues love to spring into action, saying “Notice me! Pay attention to me!”

I’ll be diving into my inner world and creating more healing very soon.

Evidence of Healing

For the past few years, I haven’t experienced much evidence of all of the healing I’ve been doing. During the early days of my Kundalini awakening, a few days after an inner shift my mind would clear and I’d see the world through new eyes. It was like blinders were removed. However, since I’ve been in a constant state of… I’m not sure how to put it…. feeling like I’m not all here… I haven’t had crystal clarity of mind. Also, I still deal with a variety of aches and pains that come and go as my body changes.

Because there are so many transient “symptoms” of my awakening process, it’s nice when I get confirmation that my body is changing for the better.

I recently underwent a routine screening colonoscopy. My third. During the previous two, I had a few polyps biopsied that were found to be benign. It’s not uncommon to have a few polyps, especially at my age.

After my procedure, I expected to hear much the same and was stunned to discover that there were no suspicious-looking polyps. No biopsies were needed. My colon has been healing!

I love having proof that I’m healing.

Seeing Life Through a Different Lens

One of the beautiful effects of healing has been the dissolution of several lenses of perception. The thing is, I never realized how judgmental and critical I was of myself and the world until it dissolved. And I never realized how much fear impacted my life until so much of it was gone.

Bit by bit, my thought patterns have changed and I’ve become naturally understanding and compassionate. I’m much more patient and compassionate with myself and the world as a whole. Is this every moment of every day? No. But the difference is significant.

Not long ago I was reading or listening to something and the person speaking used the phrase “compassion fatigue”. I was momentarily confused because so much understanding and compassion is hardwired into me. It’s not something that requires mental effort – it’s just there.

I’m sometimes caught off guard by how differently I see the world from most people now. I have a deep understanding of the human condition through what becomes revealed during my healing sessions. And because the understanding goes far beyond my mind, what used to include automatic reaction has been replaced by compassion.

Don’t get me wrong, just because I may have a deep understanding of why someone might do despicable things, and I no longer automatically condemn them, doesn’t mean I want to engage with them in any way. Absolutely not.

Along with healing a lot of judgment and fear, I’ve also healed a lot of lost power. And with that, my ability to discern what’s for me and what’s not has heightened, making it easy to say, “No, thank you” or just plain “no”, without feeling an ounce of guilt, anger, or other uncomfortable feelings.

The Kundalini-fueled healing journey I’ve been on for the past several years has been a bit intense and uncomfortable, but the inner changes have been life-changing in the best way. Compassion fatigue isn’t a thing for me anymore.

An Inspired Message

One of my favorite suggestions during the induction phase of hypnosis is to let any outside noise take me deeper into trance.

Even when I’m not working in hypnosis, I become meditative so I can receive intuitive visions and thoughts. And when I went for a healing session recently, some construction noise outside made it a little bit challenging to focus. As my practitioner and I talked about the percussive hammering, she looked for the lesson while I remembered the quote above. Before long we were settled in and were off to the races.

As much as the quote refers to my situation, it also applies broadly, especially in these times of loud chaotic voices that seem to bombard us from all sides. When you can’t seem to find your bearing, take a minute to focus deep in your heart. It’s the home of your true north.

The Web of Connection

One of the ironies about the human existence is that we spend a lifetime becoming independent only to discover that we’re designed for connection.

Click, click, boom! Aha!!

Sometimes when I’m merely going about my day, I’ll see or hear something and my heart will unexpectedly crack open with an epiphany. With a deep swell of emotion, energy in the form of tears becomes released and I receive higher wisdom.

Sometimes it happens when I’m washing dishes or running errands, and recently it happened when I was relaxing, perusing social media.

When the recent epiphany hit, awash with love, I suddenly realized that everything in my home was made by someone else before it came into my home. The chair I was sitting on was made be someone. The materials used to make the chair were made by someone. The people who provided the materials were taught by someone. The wood came from trees grown on Earth herself. Even the food I cook and the crafts I sometimes make come from someone else’s efforts before I add my magic. All of a sudden I saw the massive web of interconnection and interdependence and became so grateful to everyone.

I realized that while I’ve needed and craved a lot of quiet alone time over the past few years of my awakening process, I haven’t made it through alone.

There’s a web of support around me, as there is for everyone. It exists here in the physical world made from family and friends to people I’ve never met. And my spirit team is always with me, guiding and loving me along the way.

I’m so very grateful for all of it.

Inspiration

The energies on the planet combined with my current state of being have been making life a bit more challenging than usual. It’s hard to write when my consciousness isn’t grounded into my body and thoughts flit in and out. Far too many have been dark (I know they’re not me), but I was able to hold onto a few that were beautifully inspired and a reminder I’ve needed lately.

PFM! (Part 2)

When we last saw the image of my higher self who’d shown up in the middle of my hypnotherapy session as a little girl, she was standing on my chest overlooking my heart chakra and saying, “That heart’s got some stuff going on!” Looking at my heart chakra, it was completely blocked off by a slightly concave image of rocks. She was looking at a thick heart block commonly called a heart wall.

When we suffer a heartbreak, we create a wall around our hearts for protection. We don’t want to get hurt again, but we don’t realize how detrimental the wall actually is. It creates an energetic block that stays with us until we find a way to work through the pain. I already knew this going into the session, having healed all sorts of walls around my heart.

Listening to the little girl, she said, “It’s not necessarily yours but… I volunteered to help heal it. You’ve done a really good job of healing your own heart walls but I’m helping to heal others.”

As she stood, looking into a pit of rocks (my heart chakra), she pondered how to get the healing ball rolling. When my practitioner asked if I needed help, the girl suggested that we bring in the adult version of my higher self. And a moment later I saw the two of them standing hand in hand, looking at the solid rock blockage. It occurred to them they needed to reverse the process. In other words, melt the rock back into lava so it could flow again. As soon as I wondered how to do this, the idea of a ray gun popped in: it looked like one from the movie Men in Black. But not just any old ray gun; a shiny silver gun that shoots plasma beams of love!

As my higher self shot plasma beams of love into the rock, it became red hot and began to liquefy. As it liquified, I sensed emotional pain. I became aware that the rock had been solidified pain and now that the energy was moving again, it was time to hear pain’s story – to witness it so it could become healed.

My higher self commented that we love stories! It’s so much more fun when we get to see cool things and hear stories.

Tuning into the pain, I kept hearing, “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

I recognized that the issue was the fear caused by not knowing. It can be subtle or panic-inducing. Looking a little deeper, I received the info that the fear is two-fold. It’s not knowing the future because our brains aren’t designed to know the future (the brain seeks out and recognizes patterns but it doesn’t actually know the future) and that can be scary. But it’s also not knowing, as in when the veil of forgetting comes down and cuts us off from Source and the connection to wisdom. One minute we can see the bigger picture and we feel nothing but love and confidence. We know all kinds of stuff and all of a sudden it’s all gone. Silence. And that’s terrifying.

After this little download, I realized the rock which had been liquefying and moving a bit, began to harden again. A moment later, I was stuck in the hard rock and needed help. Before my practitioner finished asking for divine help, I heard “Merlin.” I saw a pointed hat with symbols all over it and felt the presence of an old man wearing a long robe and saw lots of purple. Merlin the Magician! He represented wisdom and knowledge.

Before I could finish saying what he represented, I felt an overwhelming wave of divine love as Saint Germain appeared and placed the Violet Flame (of transmutation) into my rock-filled heart. Bringing me to tears, the violet flame did the work melting the rocks while Saint Germain held the energy of the divine.

I described what was going on as the energy ran through me:

“I keep hearing, ‘Invoke the violet flame, invoke the violet flame.’ And it’s melting away this massive, massive heart block, heart wall, whatever you want to call it. And it’s, like, the fear around ‘not knowing’ and the fear when the veil dropped, cutting me off from Source. Cutting us all off from Source. And that stream of pure love that everybody… it’s like, you can feel the love and it’s a feeling. But not enough people realize that the love also carries information. Like the whole entire Akashic Records is in that love… because that love is not just feeling but it’s information. And I’m seeing images of all these geometric shapes randomly just popping up. They’re the building blocks of everything and it’s carried within that violet flame.”

“And I see that Merlin’s kind of stepped back, letting Saint Germain be right here in my face. And he’s… very loving! Lots of love energy! (The energy was so intense it was hard to take a deep breath). But also, so much more than just the feeling. Yeah, it’s the information, and I see that sacred geometry is within it. He’s saying that a lot of this violet flame carries sacred geometry, the building blocks of everything. It’s, like, not just the building blocks of physical creation, but they’re saying, building blocks of thought. And I’m seeing all of these geometric shapes coming into my third eye. And they’re saying that’s thought from the other side. They give us thought, or we get connected to thought as sacred geometry. He’s saying they present as sacred geometry because we can relate to sacred geometry. We can see physical lines and structures, and it’s something we can relate to. So that’s why right now the information is being presented in that way – because it’s something I can relate to. They’re saying sacred geometry holds keys of information encoded within it.”

I saw a stream of geometric shapes in the form of line drawings of 3D shapes like a pyramid, a cube, and a sphere flowing into my third eye. I was told they represent ideas and thoughts that I receive all the time but they don’t send it with too much volume because they don’t want to give me a headache (and right about then my head was on the verge of a headache).

Looking at Saint Germain, I saw him wearing lots of purple and velvet with a short somewhat pointed beard. He referred to me as his student, saying I’d been his student for eons. I heard that I wanted to come in (into a physical incarnation) at this time, having been his student, to remember his teachings.

After receiving Saint Germain’s lesson, my practitioner asked me a few questions I’d prepped before the session having to do with my chronic state of exhaustion and discombobulation. With them satisfactorily answered, knowing that all is well, that this “abnormal state” is purposeful, won’t last forever, and that I’m very supported, it was time to check in with my heart chakra to see how it was doing.

Looking at what had been a massive wall of rocks, I now saw a giant diamond! The rocks had been transformed. A moment later I heard the word, “transmogrify.” Not even sure if it was a real word, I looked it up after the session to learn that it means to transform something in a surprising or magical way.

Looking at the surface of the diamond, I saw images of people ice skating on it and then people dancing on it, all having a blast. The energy had shifted into party mode! Woo hoo!

Then I noticed a tremendous amount of divine energy blasting through my heart and it contained all the colors of the rainbow. The diamond was concentrating the energy, making it very, very intense divine love. The final image I saw was of me standing in the Superman pose: feet slightly apart, back straight, chest proudly out, and hands on hips. As I stood there feeling very strong, the giant diamond sat in my heart with the energy of divine love blasting through it spreading out all over the world… the whole world and beyond. So very cool.

After my hypnotherapist wrapped up the session and brought me back up, we sat there gobsmacked. I never know just what’s going to happen in each session, and this was the first time in any of my sessions or meditations I’d had Merlin the Magician or Saint Germain come and support me. As with each and every time I dive into my inner world, healing happened that’s rippling out through time and space. This day the healing centered around the phrase, “I don’t know,” releasing fear of the unknown. And I learned a bit more about the human psyche, the unseen realm, and about myself.